A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am totally into this girl she's 20 n I'm 16 we both work in the same office we email each other all day but she is so far over on the other side of the office so we can't talk much. I can't stop thinking of her she is gorgeous n her personality is amazing. She does have female crushes but she's Muslim so she can't act on it. However she said if any guys in her family came out gay shed disown them so this probably indicates she isn't lesbian. It's strange as she avoids me in person but always emails me. I asked to go to dinner today n she accepted but ran past my desk 15mins before normal time n later emailed to ask if I have been to dinner but didn't say anything else. Then she used to leave at 4 but since we hav been emailin she leaves at 4.05 as I leave at 4. It's odd n it maybe as she tells me alot of personal things via email n maybe isn't comfortable with it in one to one cud this be? Or does she not like me but why wud she constantly email me. She said she doesnt want to get attached to ppl as she's only here for a year, could that be why? Thanx x
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (18 November 2008):
 We can only second-guess her behaviour.
I do suggest, however, that a lesbian relationship may be the furthest thing from her mind. In many cultures it is normal to get really close to a female friend without any thoughts of going to bed. The problem seems to me that because you are extremely attracted to her you may be having thoughts that would not even enter her head. Would you be so sensitive to these things if you were thinking from the perspective of a straight female friend?
A
female
reader, kaytee8721  +, writes (18 November 2008):
Ok so I know what your talking about.. My gf is also muslim/arab. She probably is a lesbian, but because of her culture and religion shes fighting it. These people are EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS! Gay is like OMG DISGUSTING HORRIBLE worse sin in the world. My gf has struggled with it her whole life and her family keeps pushing her to get married. She is now in the states and her family is back in syria so it makes it a little easier on her to be herself. Still she feels awful about it but she got so sick of fighting it. This girl you like is probable goin through the same thing. Shes just scared and wont even allow that thought go in her head bc she feels she will burn in hell for it. My opinion if you like someone then pursue it. Dont give up on it because you will always regret it. But on the other hand if shes leaving in one yr whats the point unless you could get her to stay. I would just try to hang out with her outside of work and see where it goes. you might get a better feel of whether or not she is lesbian. Just dont set urself up for heartbreak. You definitely dont wanna fall for her if she leaves in a year.
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A
female
reader, Foxy Roxie +, writes (18 November 2008):
Wow, seems she doesn't know she is bi or lesbian. You see it must be really had for her to accept it. Let it go, your younger and might end up getting hurt over a crush that won't admit to liking woman. Leave it alone and see what her reactoin is. Maybe shell make the move. Just as long as its not you 1st. Good luck
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Maybe she's excited to have a friend, but not interested in a sexual relationship. Maybe she feels obligated to reply to your e-mails because she's polite. Maybe she's great with words, but painfully shy in person. Maybe she likes flirting with the idea of being with you, but is too nervous to approach you one on one. Maybe she's being truthful and she really doesn't want to make any solid connections with anyone because it will be too hard for her to pull away when she leaves. Maybe she's an introvert by nature.
Mmm, possibilities.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): It could be that her family prefers her to mix with other Muslims but she is curious about other people. Ask her about this.
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