A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I guess i should first give a little background.My friend James, has been going out with a girl for almost a year now. I at first had no feelings for her, but over time I started developing feelings for her. Now the relationship has not been all that smooth. He cheated on her at least twice and she forgave him both times. Since he cheated it has not only put a strain on our friendship because he knows how i feel for her, but it has also put a strain on the entire group of friends. The girl has become a really good friend of mine and I was afraid that I was in the friend zone. However I now know that I am only in the friend zone because of her relationship with James, which i can understand.One night, our entire group of friends were hanging out and nobody invited James. He has become an A$$#* and % and nobody really likes hanging out with him. We were just hanging out and suddenly James came and seemed upset. The girl seemed visually upset and walked over to our little group and announced that she was going to break up with him. She walked to his car and was there for about 2 1/2 hours. Well as we all waited, we began talking about those two. Somebody put my name into the ring and my friend Zach told me that The girl told him that "If I met (me) first, I would have chosen him over James" I didn't take it all to serious however because 1.She met him first and i wouldn't have know her without him. 2.I didn't hear that from her. 3. It's basically gossip.Well they didn't break up and she is now gone for a trip and will be back in a few days. What i hear from more people in my group is that she is going to look at whether she wants to stay with James or break up with him. I have sort of had enough with all the drama but I really do like this girl.What I would like to know is what I should do once she comes back. If she doesn't break up with him immediately, should I just forget about her? If she breaks up with him what should I do? Should I comfort and be a friend and let her decide when and if she wants to make a move? Should I be rather aggressive with trying to date her? I would just like some feedback. Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tykeavenger24  +, writes (26 June 2011):
im in a similar situation and i told my friends gf that i really liked her but i wasn't going to do anything to break her relationship up and she said she was very flattered and said thanks.
so if i was you i would tell her how you feel but tell her your not going to do anything to split her and this james up. and just tell her that you won't mension your feelings again to her unless she asks and tell her that things won't be awkward with her that gives her the comfort she needs.
A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (26 June 2011):
 Well lets start from the top; I dont think you should forget about her since you obviously care about her and can give her a better life than this guy. I also think frankly, if you care that much you should try and date her at *some stage*. You have gotta play your cards carefully on this one though, right now you have to just be there for her and support her through this difficult time and try and avoid the temptation to lead her too you.
Because, and only because, this guy has cheated id be tempted away from giving his feelings too much consideration but if your too forceful it could ultimately disrupt severely your friendship group and also your chances of having a relationship in the future with her.
You may well want to subtly tell her how you feel but try not to force the issue too much. Good luck and take care :)x
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