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female
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anonymous
writes: im a 21 yr old girl and have been in a relation for 4 yrs...at first it was great..he was in another country then..later he moved to my city..it was great till then..last month he moved to another city ..he is having some problem with his work and is extremely busy..he says he has no time to call..but he text msgs and we chat occasionally..but due to the distance we seem to be getting into more fights..i fail to uderstand how he doesnt have time to call even for 10 mins..but he says he loves me and wants to marry me..but doesnt seem to have time to call even on my bday..should i break up ?? or continue and put up with it ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2005): I can totally understand how you feel, because i am actually in the same situation as you. I have been in this friendship for 4 years with this long distance guy that i have been crushing on. He is 12 years older than I. And he is extremely busy and once he never called on my birthday because of work and studying. Even though he says he will call when time allows, he always says that and did he call? No. I get so tired of waiting and yup, i confessed. I would say you should just let go and find someone better who actually appreciates you and doesn't treat you like a nobody. Long distance relationships will never work out. Trust me, we're in the same boat. Speaking of that, i guess i would have to move on as well :(
A
female
reader, U-Hate-2-Hear-The-TRUTH +, writes (8 November 2005):
Dear, you are 21 how old is your so call boyfriend? I hate to say but it is obvious that this guy is not into you. He doesn't call you and to top it of, he doesn't remember your d-day. Honey you are too young to be waiting for a man like that. I'll tell you that he mostlikely is a marry man or a single guy that travels for business and likes to have young females like you when in town. You need to get rid off him and move on. I am sure that you deserve better than that.
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A
female
reader, Holy Woman +, writes (8 November 2005):
If he has never called you a lot in this relationship then you should not stress it now. This is probably the way he is. Or it could be work really! But if things use to be good with calling and keeping in touch and there has been a significant change in his behavior or patterns, it is a red light flashing WARNING! There could be someone else in his life or he could just be loosing interest in this long distance relationship thing with you.
I suggest that you tell him that you are really starting to feel insecure in this relationship and he needs to make a decision to move close or call you more often or you will need to back off and see other people. I know this may sound like a pretty forward approach. But my objective is to get a response from him. If he wants to marry you one day, then he will begin to make you feel secure. If it's a phone call as you ask, which is really not much to ask, and then he will do it. He will not jeopardize loosing you for something so simple. If marriage is not what he really wants, he will agree to see other people and move on with his life.
Some people need a window of opportunity to leave a relationship. They will not suggest it on their own or open up and be honest and tell you it's not working. But if you give them a way out and they have been wanting out, they will take it.
Marriage is for life. If he really loves you that much the least he can do is call you and keep you happy! If he can't do that to keep you happy he will not keep you happy in a marriage. I could go deeper but I will just leave you with that. I hope this helps.
Take care and God bless!
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A
female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (7 November 2005):
If i lived at the other side of the world from my boyfriend i would still find the time to call him on his birthday, im sorry but that isn't a good sign that somebody loves you. If he can,t manage 10 minutes out of his day to talk to you whats it going to be like if your married.I think you deserve better tell him to buck his ideas up or your going to find someone else goood luck lyndseyxx
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