A
male
age
41-50,
*razyoflove
writes:Been in a relationship for 8 months. Month ago we got into heated discussion over something silly which resulted in break-up. Over next two weeks I tried to talk to her. It was not on a daily basis but rather every 3-4 days with no contact in between. Most of time I tried to convince her. The reason was that during another fight couple of months ago she made us both promise that in case of either of us wishes to leave the other one would do everything to stop this. During this time she gave me mixed signals. After few days of no contact she would be open to idea of continuing relationship but then next day she would change her mind. Nevertheless, she kept repeating that she loves me and kept wearing our engagement ring almost as if she wanted me to chase her. Eventually I gave up and told her that I also think it is better for both of us to end relationship. I also apologised for several things which I did wrong and left it there. She seemed confused as if she did not want this to hear and repeated several times "you would really let me go". During all of this time I was the one who initiated contact.Next evening I received text in which she apologised for lot of things she did during relationship. I replied following morning and asked her to meet me. Her answer was that she is sorry for disturbing me other night and that she is not ready to talk to me. I sent her text saying that I am used to talk about issues, not run away from them, and that I will leave her alone. Over next week we’ve been no contact which I broke after 7 days. She was happy to hear from me and even reinitiated contact same evening. However, every time I would bring topic of “us” she would stay silent. I asked her to meet but she couldn’t do it that evening and I had to travel tomorrow. There was some small talk and then she said that she is still not sure if she is ready to talk. I said that I will be back next week and if she wishes to talk about us I would be happy to meet her. I did not give a hint where I was going even though she asked. Also, she asked whether after that I will be in town or leave again. Said "dont know" to that one as well.In the end of that conversation I said that over past weeks I removed last traces of doubt, if there were any, that I love her and that I want her by my side. I also mentioned some of reasons which led to our breakup (some of which are my fault and some of which are hers). I ended by saying that if she does not want to continue I will respect her wishes and leave her alone. There was no reply so I left it there. During this last week we have been again in no contact. She ended silence two days ago with text message asking about my mother. She knows that my mother was ill. There was lot of small talk, I pretty much acted cool, made few jokes and did not ask her anything. I also replied her questions short and did not mention anything about break up or relationship. She gave me few compliments, asked how I have been and what I’ve been doing, mentioned that she was thinking all the time about my mother and about some other things related to me and that was it. I ended conversation saying I got to run. She also texted me yesterday, again with silly excuse, asking some help with work. During that conversation she gave me more compliments, mentioned that she is proud of me for some professional achievements which I accomplished during past month and about which she heard from our friends. However, still no mentioning of meeting or anything about us. I ended this conversation as well after some 30 mins of texting. Then, two hours later she texts again asking about some irrelevant things such as what I think about some movie, and whether I know where she can buy good computer etc. I still do not initiate any contact with her but just reply if she texts me. Is she just checking up on me or is this some kind of opening which could lead to something bigger? I am not interested in being her friend but also do not want to scare her by bringing relationship in too fast in case she wants to reconcile. My idea is not to initiate contact for next few weeks but reply in case she contacts me. Would it be better just to completely ignore her and not reply to any communication attempt until she comes straight with “i want to talk about us” call or text?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 If you still like her and hope to possibly get back with her, then you need to answer her texts. If you are happy with the break-up, then ignore the texts. You NEVER ignore a girl's texts if you are interested in her. Most girls do not like men who play hard to get. In fact, if any man I know plays hard to get, I assume he isn't interested.
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