A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend might leave school soon, I've known her for two years and she's the only real friend I have at my new shcool.I try to be happier becaue she's really looking forward to it if she gets a place (It's a fee paying shcool) and I know she doesn't really like the school we just started together.I don't want her to leave but I know she will if she gets the chance... But every else at shcool hangs out with this other girl and she hates my guts because I do better than her in stuff and I don't do what she says.If this girl leaves will I ever make new friends?I'm really worried because I have been bullied before and it started out this way and it ended only when I left that shcool and the girls there still hate me after 3 years.
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female
reader, millie ewing +, writes (15 May 2008):
i had been friends with this girl for seven years and just yesterday i found out she was going to live with her dad and all we did was cry but before she went i had already made new friends and i still thought about her my answer is yes i do think you will find new friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have joined a lot of clubs and I have had a few friends round - things are looking up.
Thanks for the advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Undoubtedly, you will. It's important to learn from the times you've been bullied how to avoid recurrences of this situation, as well as gain self-confidence from what you learn by REanalysing the incidents. You also have the possibility to read other similar stories from people that have been bullied in school (detail your story if you wish.) Some of them for example pushed away their friends in an attempt to protect them from being bullied as well - which is a regrettable mistake, to isolate oneself. DON'T do as such! You must teach yourself to be unvulnerable to the unkindness, and in time copy some of the environment's features as a strategy of adaptation, as for example if the majority would be very discriminative towards you, do not expose your distinct ideas unless you are instructed (by your own conclusions of past incidents) to deal with the poking fun and criticality. To handle the situation better, you should avoid feeling anger or hatrid towards the bullies, but rather sympathy. As a bully confessed, he did things which to him at one point seemed funny, but later he acknowledged were "stupid and unpleasant" for the "targets." People will come to appreciate you once you don't let yourself be provoked and find clever ways to escape from these situations. Never pose as a victim! - you'd suggest you are indulged in their games. Also, your age has the advantage of TRANSPARENCY, profit from it. You are very young and have not yet developed a proper disguise strategy, therefore they are very "exposed" and predictable. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Whitestarr  +, writes (3 January 2008):
Try to make new friends now, rather than wait until your best friend leaves, because then you'll be really lonely. Chat to others, put on a friendly face, join some clubs, etc... and just try to have fun! As for the girl who hates your guts, she's just plain immature, and everyone will see that sooner or later. Besides, there's always high school. (if you aren't in high school already, which I am assuming is the case?)
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