A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A couple of nights ago I walked into my bedroom and my wife frantically attempted to hide her phone beneath some laundry she was folding. When I reached for the phone there was the name Antonia. She went on to tell me that it was some chick she met on an online virtual life site. When I called the number a guy named Tony answered. She eventually confessed that they were just friends and had only been speaking offline for three days. When I asked why she was hiding she said she thought I'd be mad. Should I leave her? If it was so innocent why hide? She is insisting that there was no plan to go further but that was probably the same thought when the relationship started online and then moved offline. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, didda123  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 I know it will be difficult to forgive and forget but if this is something you wish to do and your wife is clearly sorry for the hurt she has caused you and wishes to repair your relationship it is still possible.
Maybe she has just got caught up in the thrill of the moment exchanging photos she has possibly been missing something within your marriage and you should try to work out what this is, could it is a lack of attention from you or she feels she is in a bit of a rut whatever the problem it can be overcome if you are strong enough and both want the same things but i think you should try to get to the bottom of why this has happened.
Arranging an appointment with Relate may be of help to you both.
Only the two of you can decide if you feel your marriage is worth saving and whether you are both prepared to work together to try to repair it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRecently, well today i found out that there were photos exchanged and not just the face. This really places a larger burden on my mind as i struggle to understand why. I must admit i do not know if I will be strong enough to forgive,forget and move forward.
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (23 March 2009):
I think you both need to talk things over some more.
It is possible it has started as an online relationship but sometimes these relationships can become almost affair like when you are constantly talking to someone online and the relationship has obviously progressed as they have now exchanged numbers and are texting or speaking now.
I think you need to point out how worried you are about this relationship, it was obviously secretive and that in itself spells danger!
If your wife has any respect for you she should end her relationship with this person it will do no good to your marriage, it may be a bit of fun but it is something she has chose to do without your knowledge and she has actually been covering it up from you to the extent of calling the guy by a female name to stop any suspision.
Ask her to show you the site she has been on just to put your mind at rest but i really think this will lead to trouble within your marriage if she insists on continuing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): talk to her - lay down the rules. tell you are very hurt by the hidden aspect. Ask her she has had virtual sex with him.
then if you cant handle that aspect move on to the real life one and ask her tell you how she feels and where you are in her world. Is he a bit of fun for example.
Star.x.
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