A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! I need some advice,I hope somebody can offer some assistance.My problem is simple,but very aggravating.For some reason,I am unable to reach orgasm through both sex,and oral sex.If I masturbate I have absolutely no problem whatsoever.So I know im not UNABLE to have an orgasm.But,my boyfriend feels kind of like hes not doing the job right.And thats not the case at all,because it feels so unbelievably good.I want to be able to have an orgasm atleast sometimes when we have sex,or atleast through oral sex.Another thing that is weird,is that I feel like im having one,but im not even sure...if it is an orgasm,it feels completely different than when im masturbating.Like instead of the feeling of orgasm being centered on my clit,which I normally do to masturbate,its more of an all over,deeper feeling.I cant really explain it,and when I try to explain it to him he looks at me like he probably thinks im just trying to make him feel better.And the bed was actually wet underneath me this time,so I dont know if thats just because I was extremely wet,or maybe I DID have an orgasm.It seems weird that it would be wet otherwise doesnt it? Im confused by my own body I guess,and I want to fix it.If im not orgasming what are some ways that I might be able to?
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male
reader, romance888 +, writes (13 May 2009):
Generally if you are unable to orgaism during sex, but can during masturbbation, there is likley to be some emotional issues regarding trust and intimacy that are blocking the free flow of your emotional and sexual desires so that there is a freedom to orgasim. Are you afraid at all durng sex or are you wondering if he is being pleased about your perfomrance? What are you actually feeing, thinking before and durng sex. Most issues of orgasim are tied to emotional issues.
A
female
reader, Amy124  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I agree with 'satindesire', I have only orgasmed once through intercourse, and that's with my current boyfriend. I think it happened thanks to a LOT of foreplay, so there was plenty of build-up for me, and we somehow found a position that rubs against the clit. I'm the same as you - through masturbation, it's easy as pie. But through any other means, it's virtually impossible!The only way I have ever orgasmed with a partner is by using some kind of sex toy on the clitoris (and he could use his fingers), but i'll admit, it takes quite a while!My main advice would be to enjoy every bit of pleasure with your partner, because it can feel AMAZING even without an orgasm!
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A
female
reader, springluv2 +, writes (5 April 2009):
Well first of all an orgasm takes time. You should let your boyfriend do oral sex for a while and the continue with intercourse. I wouldn't focus on having an orgasm because it will take longer. When your boyfriend hits the g spot you should feel your muscles relax. You could also play with your clit to reach a climax. Everyones climax feels different but tour peak isn't until your like 30 or 40.
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