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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I'm a 21yr old male. I am in love with a 25yr old man. We love each other both very, very much. I even lied to my parents when I went to visit him overseas, saying that it was a group of friends, only to be alone with him. This is our first gay relationship, and if we can, we'd get married. His family is more "open-minded" to the modern day issues. My family are extremely "anti gay" and they even hate the thought. I do not know how to tell my family, or if it's best not to and move out. Nobody knows us as a couple. He has mentioned me to his family as his best friend, and so have I. Yet neither family have meet the other. My parents are highly over protective, and stubborn, and my social life almost dead, due to them being so overprotective. If I come out I will shatter my family's entire life. This is not the full story yet, but I do not know what to do with regards to my parents. I have even considered running away with him. my problem is that I am co-owner of the family business and everything depends on me. I cannot leave and let the business and my family drop. If I could, I'd write the whole story. Please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, amiee  +, writes (16 August 2005):
 heya, ok your situation is complicated but there are ways to work around this. firstly in the worse case sinario (if you family are as anti gay as you say) they may well consider telling you to move out. so before you tell them make sure you are in a stable position where you can move out and either rent on even buy. but if you family as careing and understanding as i hope they are they will accept you for who you are. when you do get round to telling them maybe its not best to tell them straight away that you are currently seeing someone. well unless they ask calmly. if they ask calmly then slowly explain that yes you are seeing someone and no matter what you love this lucky man. but i realy recomend concidering your familys reactions and your current situations before telling them. but always be prepared you dont wat to get hurt anymore that you already are. things will work out in the end and i wish you luck for the near and far future.
amiee x
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