A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a 3.5 year relationship with my ex-gf and she says she no longer loves me in a romantic way. I've contacted her occasionally (once or twice a week) the past 2 weeks since our breakup. If i start the NC rule now, will there be a chance that she realizes that the space apart was what she needed? That maybe she does love me afterall? Has anyone resorted to NC to make their ex love them again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ the gentlemen who tried the 2.5 weeks of NC... At first did you talk to her after the break up THEN started the NC? Thanks a lot for the people who responded to this question... It was by far the most helpful and eye opening.
A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (22 March 2011):
 The NC rule wasn't designed to be a manipulation tactic to try to make people love you. It's a tool one employs to stop torturing themselves in a relationship where clearly their needs aren't being met and opens up the way for them to move on with their life.
If, by some turn of fate, your ex decides they miss you after they've not heard from you in a while, it would almost have to make you wonder why they only want you when they can't have access to you, when instead they could've been appreciating you the entire time you were available? What kind of relationship do you really have when disappearing becomes necessary just to get the type of attention you crave? Just some food for thought.
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A
female
reader, DrDivine  +, writes (22 March 2011):
As the saying goes: If you love someone set them free – if they come back they’re yours forever and if they don’t they were never yours to begin with.
Time apart with no contact is always a good thing. It will give both of you time to evaluate the situation and your feelings. She may find that she misses you and you may find that you don’t actually miss her at all.
I’d definitely suggest giving the no contact thing a go. I’d advise with a minimum time that you should try your very best to stick to – something like 3 weeks. No calls, texts or emails. Of course if she contacts you than that is ok. In that time apart you should try to keep yourself busy with your own life otherwise you’ll end up obsessing about her and breaking the no contact which wouldn’t be a good thing. If you are ‘friends’ with her on any social networking sites do not get into the habit of stalking her! Block her from your news feed. Focus on you and if you two are meant to be she will come back.
Good Luck :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Hey dude, if by NC you mean No Contact, then yea go for it. I've had 2 girls say that to me (once after basic then once more after a deployment). The first one I begged and pleaded with like an idiot and later was told that she missed me and realized she really did love me but the huge turn off was the constant contacting. The second one I tried that no contact with just like the first one had mentioned would have worked, and it DID. After 2.5 weeks she used a friend's phone to call me (so i wouldnt ignore it) and she left me a really nice voicemail saying how wrong she was, etc.
It works for most girls (just from talking about it with my female friends)
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (22 March 2011):
 First off you can'e 'make' anyone love you.
But I think the NC thing is a good idea. But if she doesn't love you anymore and doesn't wanna be with you then you need to respect that and move on.
Hope this helps
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