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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in love with my boyfriend, but we slept together last week and now I still want to be with him I just think that waiting until marriage to have sex is a safer and better idea for me right now. He said he was fine with that, but got hurt when I said I wasn't going to spend the night anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy! Is he not being understanding or supportive, or am I being cruel? I feel like if I spend the night we might eventually end up having sex again, which I don't think I'm ready for. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Hello,
well what i know about us guys is that we're too attracted to sex and cant wait for it, just that we dont show it to make us appear nice and sincere... well you did say you wanted to spend the night.. he was looking forward to it all the time, and now that you cancelled it.. well he feels pretty dissappointed i guess... but then again, he might just be using you for sex and nothing else..
look into his eyes and ask him that question, if he gets offended... i think you know the truth.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Well, the fact is, if you do spend the night with him its highly likely that he is going to want to have sex with you - where would you be sleeping? In the same bed with him, or one of you on the sofa or sofa-bed? If in a different bed, MAYBE he won't expect to have sex with you. If in the same bed, I can almost guarantee that he will.
If you are serious about not wanting to have sex until you get married, you should not spend any more nights with him. That's the bottom line. Either he will respect your choice (even though he may be disappointed) or he won't. Then its up to you as to whether you want or ultimately choose, to continue with the relationship.
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A
female
reader, thenabear +, writes (15 November 2006):
 WEll untill he accually tries to get you to have sex. I think your the one not being understanding. If he only wants to spend time with you and be close to you .I see no harm in that. If he starts pushing the issue of sex then you have a red flag. Give him the benifit of the doubt before you judge him. I do have one other bit of imput. Your the one scared you might have sex. think on that one.
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