A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I seem to have a re-occuring problem with all the guys i have dated. 19 years old and so far, all the guys ive dated seem to be so keen in the beguining when im not so sure about them as i am geting to knwo them. Therefore, i am not all over them and feel like i have to talk to them every single minute of the day type of thing. But they are like that. Then, once i DO fall for them hard, and show them a bit of attention (but not too much to be classified as smothering) and affection and make it clear i am interested they seem to back off and act like they dont like me anymore! as a reaction, i back off thinking they dont like me. THEN, suddenly they are all over me liek a rash again! i dont get this. it seems that in order to get a guy to give me attention, i have to treat him like dirt, ignore him and pretend i dont like him. but i dont want to do that, if i like a guy i want to show it to him, i want to be affectionate and show how excited i am to see him etc...so what is going on here? are these guys just playing games or what? it is really annoying me. this doesnt just happen with guys i date, it has happened in the few relationships ive had as well. are all guys like this? i surely hope not because it is driving me mad. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): I had the same problem, to the point where I claimed I was "done with'em". It would really annoy me, when I paid no attention to them they would be all over me, and as soon as I would portray my interest for them too, like say nice things to them, flirt with them, they'd just tell me "I dunno if I like you anymore.." I finally became very wary of a boy who "fancied" me; I would think /oh, do you now?..really? You just think you do../ and I shut down emotionally and grew suspicious..
But now I actually have a wonderful boyfriend, who seems to love the attention I give him. I can be affectionate, complimentary-- he doesn't back off..
So no not all guys are like that :)
Good luck! Keep searching!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Not all guys are like it, just playas. Thats a sign of a playa or a messer. They like the chase, but once they have the girl, they lose interest. I have a mate like it, i told him thats a bit worrying really and he's like is it?? Der.
You have just been unlucky. Maybe you are attracted to the bad boy?
...............................
|
