A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I have this thing where I feel like I need to completely share myself with my girlfriend. I want to so desperately, but there are some things deep down that I just can't bring myself to share, for fear of judgement or complications in the relationship. When I think about it, how she'll never know me completely. I just get this INCREDIBLE feeling of loneliness and depression. It can bring me to tears, even. I love her so much, but it's so heart-wrenching. I'm willing to share a few things, so you can get an idea: 1.I'm attracted to shemale porn 2.I've had sexual fantasies at a very young age 3.I once touched penises with my brothers when I was younger, as an experiment or something. I know these ones are only sexual in nature, but it's all I have off the top of my head at the moment. I just want someone to help me out, please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice, it really helped ease my mind. And yes, I do think I may have some form of depression, I also have this thing where I can lose control in pure anger and start breaking stuff etc. I'm not a doctor, but I do have the internet and my best guess is that I'm bipolar or something. I really appreciate your help, and I'm looking forward to some more input.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 October 2012):
 You really are normal. None of this is shocking or perverted.
Lots of kids have sexual fantasies. I mean, Freud had a field day with developing sexuality in childhood. It's perfectly normal. As for your little experimental stuff with your brothers? Why do you think kids play "doctor"? They're curious and they don't really understand what they're doing. That's just kids being kids.
As for the porn, everybody has different tastes. And trust me, nearly everyone has some type of sexual fantasy that they think will sounds super weird to the world. That is why some sexual fantasies are things that you just keep to yourself. That is totally okay to do. I have some things that I'm into that I'm sure would skeeve others - but as long whatever you're fantasizing about is not violent, then it's not dangerous.
I don't think there is any need for you to share this with your girlfriend before you have come to peace with it yourself. Time, maturity and maybe continually reading Dear Cupid so you can see how normal your experiences and fantasies really are.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 You are making "normal" to be a rigid definition 100% heterosexuality and that children are totally sexless and uninterested in sexual organs. I masturbated at the age of 6 and I never thought that was something to be ashamed about. Presexualization is often discouraged because there is risk of child abuse and sex with minor children is illegal. That doesn't mean children never think about sex. It is just suppressed by parents and society. As for shemale porn, it is only a problem if you can't be aroused without looking at shemales, or that you had tried to hook up with one in real life or would cheat with one while in a serious relationship. Are you clinically depressed or are you just going over your childhood because you want to learn about yourself? If you make a big deal out of this your girlfriend will worry about things that aren't there. An obvious response to what you will say is that you were sexually abused, a pervert, or gay. When in fact you could be totally normal. I would say keep this to yourself until you are older and more assertive.
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