A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:People tell me that I'm not fat, but I would like to lose some weight because the extra pounds on me revolt me. I am going to, for the sake of my health as well as attracting guys, but what I wonder is: if I were to lose weight and improve my appearance, would it help me attract a boyfriend?Unfortunately, where I live, there aren't many decent, available guys, or opportunities.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): I agree. Get thin, but do it for YOU. You'll shoot yourself in the foot if you don't get lucky with the first man you approach with your new look. You have to want it whether it gets a certain man or not.
If you want to know what guys want, then look at women being displayed in places where the guys are doing the choosing: Men's magazines, TV shows and movies that men watch, etc. Those are sometimes kind of cheesy exaggerations with the fake boobs and the swimsuits and stuff all the time, but you do get an idea about how fat or thin is nice.
Don't try to judge what men want their woman's shape to look like by comparing yourself to the models in Cosmo or something. A magazine like that is showing what women themselves want. Women shown in there are often thinner than men actually prefer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): higo wrote: "but never ever change yourself for somebody...just for you..."
I assume that higo would say the same thing to a guy who watches porn and his girlfriend hates it. I assume that higo would say the same thing to a guy who goes out with his male buddies on friday night and his girlfriend would rather he go out with her. I assume these things because I know that higo would not ever be hypocritical.
We all need to make changes to ourselves for others at times. Sure, we need to make ourselves happy first, but we all need to make an effort to change to make our partners happy. Successful relationships are about compromise and both parties being willing to change some things about themselves.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Go ahead and lose that weight. It will not only attract more guys (who I think for the most part prefer slim over plump), but more importantly it will make you feel better about yourself and THAT will definitely attract more guys!
To the moderator: Please learn the difference between "loose" and "lose", especially since the poster spelt "lose" correctly in her post. It's actually kind of disrespectful to the poster to muck it up by misspelling it as "loose" in the title.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): It is normal for men and women both to be attracted to members of the opposite sex who meet their definition of attractive. If that is thin, then that is what will make the other person notice you. However, everyone will have a different opinion on what is attractive. Some men and women like different attributes. Being a man, I can say that some men like big boobs and some men like small boobs. Some men look at butts first and some look at legs first. Unless you are super thin or super heavy, you will probably be attractive to a large number of guys.
Now, after the first physical impression, then it is the personality and inside beauty that takes over if the guy is interested in you.
As someone said, it is a good idea to keep your weight in the BMI range of 19 to 25. Google "BMI calculator", but your BMI is your weight in kg divided by your height in meters squared. I know, why do they have to make it metric for us in the US. Even if you don't attract more men, you should exercise, eat healthy and try to get your weight in the preferred range. You will feel much better with even a modest loss. I feel much better at a BMI of 24 than I do at a BMI of 26.
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A
female
reader, higo  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 I think that's good to loose weight cuz you're not happy with my current weight...but becarfull that's what i'm saying but never ever change yourself for somebody...just for you... I hope you'll do the right thing and as I see you r really wise !! so take care of yourself and don't worry there are many people want you as you r !!
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A
female
reader, higo +, writes (24 June 2008):
I'm sorry but I'm not with you at all...if you wanna attract a boy why don't you try something else than loosing weight because maybe there are many guys like normal girls not very fat not even skiny...maybe there is someone that likes you as you r...just try to find someone likes you for who you are...after 5years...or more you're gonna be fat or...i don't know than your apparence won't change anything in your relationship so what i'm trying to say is to attract him with what you do...what you r...what do you love...what do you hate...you have to attract him with the thoughts with what you belive...with the real you...not with the apparence...maybe one day you will loose that and then I don't know just imagine...don't forget this is life...try to be you don't change for someone change for you for your better...
GOOD LUCK
HiGo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel bad about myself because I'm not happy with my current weight. Even if I didn't attract guys I would still be concerned about my health but it would motivate me to lose weight if it would increase my chance of attracting someone.
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Are you in a healthy BMI range? You can google BMI and plug in your height and weight to find out.
At any weight, a daily exercise regimen is an excellent habit to develop. It will serve you well and keep you healthier longer.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 When I see this, I always remember my grandfather's usual line: "But... they are called sins of the FLESH!!"
Women think that the skinnier, the better. That is true sometimes, but not always. If you think you just need to lose a pound or two, then keep them; the man who likes you might need them where they are.
Decent guys might be attracted to you even if you're not skinny.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 June 2008):
 A healthy body is always attractive. Good luck with the weight loss, I hope you monitor your health and lose it wisely. You'll fee better about yourself and nothing attracts the great guys more than a confident happy female!
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