A
female
age
41-50,
*hreyadia
writes:HiMy husband is the only son of his over possesive mother.We are married 10 years but .My mil stays with me....who thinks herslef as Mrs.Perfect.Bcoz of her constant critisim I lost my cofidence .I took up a job...but she was not ready to take care of the house or child.I quit.I have fights with my hubby bcoz of her.Though I try to put off her and carry on with my life....iam pained by her actions.We cannot go to seperate house.I have tried exercise ,meditation and what not.My husband is a good father and good son but never cares for me.all day long though i take care of his family.He has never taken care of me.Never asks what i want, what i like though they are small things like going out for a movie or eating out.He will refuse.Many a time i have told myself to accept fate....after all it is an arranged maariage.I will bring my son well....but I too have alife aof my own is'nt.If i go for work my child will suffer...if I dont ....I will suffer out of lonliness.What am i supposed to do?Please help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 This is your house, not your mother-in-law's, and she should be respectful of that fact. Your husband should be supportive of you, and show that support in front of his mother. If you wish to get a job, talk to your husband, and together work out the best way to do that, with your sons best interests in mind. Many children survive their mother's having a job outside the house; and there isn't any reason why your son wouldn't either. Good luck to you.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 I'd tell him that you two really need to talk. Mom is okay, as long as her being there doesn't interfere with your family. Arranged marriage or not, you two are married and your focus needs to be on the marriage just as much as it does taking care of your child, or focusing on work, but definitely more than focusing on his mom. This is your house. You have the right to set rules that even she needs to follow. Your husband really needs to stand up to his mom and put a stop to how she's been treating you. He also needs to go out with you every now and again. Who knows, he might just like it. She's disrespecting you both. In your home, that should not be allowed.
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