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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, I am 13 years old and go to High School in the UK, for a while now i have gotten on very well with this girl, we are always talking and have become friends. I love spending time with her and she enjoys my company(i hope), all my friends think that we should go out together and today at school when her friends asked the "happy couple" to smile for some photo's she came up and put her arms around me and smiled. My friend Annie who is also her friend told me that she thought she liked me and i should ask her out before valentines day. My friend is going to casually ask her if she likes me tomorrow, if she comes backs and says she likes me, how do i ask her out.If im honest im not very good lucking because of spots and im a few pounds over weight as well, this makes me shy and self consious about asking her, she isnt going out with anyone and isnt extremly good looking compared to the school but has a wonderful personality and we get on so well.So how to i ask her out and what will i do if she says no or even worse maybe? Would coming up behind her and putting my arms around her and saying will you go out with me work? Or should i make a nice surprise up for Valentine's Day?Any help would be appreciated quickly?Troubled Young Man xx
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 February 2006):
 Valentine's Day was made for young men like you! :-)Get to a newsagent and see if you can find a card that's fun and cheerful and spells out the way you feel about her. Nothing too over the top, of course, because it's early days. Obviously you're not going to want to get her something that says you want to get her into bed (Too much! No!) but something that says you might like to kiss her would get your message across.
When V Day rolls around, just give her the card and a big smile, then ask her if she'd like to go out with you sometime. It can be in a day, or a fortnight. Decide on a date when you're both free. And it doesn't have to be a major "date". Just ask, would she like to go to a movie, or ice skating, or meet for lunch... or anything, really.
Unless you two are already touchy-feely friends, and putting your arms around her is something you do already, I might save that gesture until you know that she's interested.
If you're 13, then she's probably about the same age, which means -- guess what? -- she probably has the same self-doubts and imperfections as you do! So there's nothing to be afraid of. She's your friend, not a deity on a throne! More than likely, she'll be thrilled beyond words that you asked her out.
As to her saying something "worse" than No, I can't imagine why. What you've described suggests that she actually likes you quite a lot. If she were to decline in an unpleasant way, that sounds like it would be right out of character.
Take things in small steps and don't think that you have to do everything "Hollywood-style". You don't have to. Just go as far as you're comfortable with, and you'll be great.
Good luck and happy Valentine's day!
A
female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (8 February 2006):
 hey....i think i maybeable to help you on this, if you want to get with her on val. day then maybe you can buy her a teddy bear and a card and in the card ask her if she will go out with you, listen dont be affraid of a no or a maybe, if she truns you down well then contuine being friends with her and then maybe as time goes on she will change her mind, but it will never hurt to ask a girl that you really like out, well good luck on it
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