A
female
age
36-40,
*eeley345
writes: Ok. Long story short, someone tried to break into my house but did'nt manage to do so. I was'nt home at the time but found my front door broken when I came home. I went to the police station to report what happened. While I was there, I was interviewed by a male officer about the failed break in. He was a very attractive older man and when he came to ask me into an interview room to take my details (about the break in), I could not get over how hot he was and I think I made it pretty obvious that I was checking him out. In the interview room I noticed he was even more attractive up close and had the most beautiful blue eyes and smile i've ever seen. He was cold at first but relaxed as the interview went on. To me he was trying to be professional. While he was filling out the necessary forms, I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Luckily all i'd done was check him out. I did not flirt outwardly with him and made damn sure I did'nt as he was wearing a wedding ring. He seemed very aware that I was attracted to him and before long I noticed him looking at my chest and checking me out too. Awkward!!!The interview should not have taken more than an hour but after half an hour we were both talking comfortably about lots of things e.g law, politics and sports (3 hours later we were still talking happily. I'm naturally an extrovert and it seemed he was too but held back because of his job. There was lots of eye contact between us but no flirting! But it was obvious to us both that we were attracted to each other. I cracked a few clean jokes and he responded. At the end of the interview I said goodbye and thank you and left him putting the paperwork we'd completed away but when I got to the door of the police station I heard him calling me. I thought i'd forgotten something but he stood by the door with me and talked to me for about 20mins. He just wanted to walk me out.Is he attracted to me? How do i save myself embarrasment as this is obviously a disaster waiting to happen if he is married? I say 'if' because I know of men and women who still wear their wedding rings even though they're divorced. He mentioned he's 40 something, I'm 30. I never asked how old he was he just volunteered the information. I actually enjoyed talking to him and am worried about making myself look like a fool. I will be seeing him again soon about the failed break in and don't want to embarass myself.
View related questions:
divorce, flirt, older man, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 June 2014):
 I have to disagree with you, based on my experience this officer was very unprofessional. I went to the police a couple of times to report small stuff, like the loss of my passport or something, and since I was relaxed and not upset, ( how upset can you be about a missing passport ), I was my normal jocular self and I made a couple of jokes , casually , as I often do during most conversations... and I was rewarded with a cold , nearly disgusted stare which couldn't have said more clearly " just the facts, ma'am, this is not high tea at the Plaza " :).
They are there to work, not to make friends , and unless the crime victim is clearly upset, shocked and in need of psychological support and assistence,... they'll be efficient and polite, but impersonal, as they are supposed to be.
I also find unprofessional, totally unacceptable in fact !, that after having taken your statement and completed his task, he remained there 20 minutes to chat you up. Those were 20 minutes on the taxpayers' dime!, he should have been out and about fighting crime, not chatting up attractive ladies. Not that this is your fault, but yes, a married policeman who uses his job to flirt and check out women, is not just unprofessional, but also a creep.
Luckily, as Honeypue says ,I doubt there will be a lot of follow up on a failed break in, but if you should see him again, quite simple : do not flirt, curb your friendliness and extroversion, keep it short , dry and professional - he is married anyway !, married = off limits , and in the ( improbable ) case he was divorced, yeah , a cop who wastes half a day to flirt with a crime victim.... I don't believe he was just struck dumb by your appeal, that's probably his M.O. to keep things lively on the job and what he does during ANY investigation involving a female.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 June 2014):
 I wouldn't fret. I don't think there is going to be a whole lot of police involvement in a failed break in.
...............................
A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (22 June 2014):
Keeley345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses so far. To give a little more info. Because of the failed break in, I was a really upset and felt the need to express my distress to him immediately when he was interviewing me. I am a talkative person anyway and was trying to make light of what had happened and I was close to tears. But he let me vent frustrations and listened. I'm guessing to positively distract me and calm me down, he decided to make light conversation. Admittedly when he tried to get on with taking my details, i kept asking questions about the break in which he had to answer. He was professional and refrained from flirting. I did not flirt with him but body language speaks volumes. Both our body languages were saying "This is a very uncomfortable situation and we must not flirt AT ALL" As I am very friendly by nature, I'm worried that besides my body language, I might have give off some other indication that I find him attractive. Married men do not interest me but instinct tells me if we're left alone at any point, something might happen and I don't want to embarass myself. I can't ask for another officer to deal with my case, as it'll raise questions and this oficer has not freaked me out. I'm freaking myself out!I don't want to overeact and panic when he might even be disinterested, divorced and generally harmless. This break in is not a one off but one of many things that have happened to me recently. So I might have this officer helping me for a while to come and don't want to create an uncomfortable atmosphere for either of us.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2014):
I'd step away from that potential dramatic pile of mess! He might have been super hot, but wedding ring = married.
Married = off limits.
I think it's pretty simple.
I'd say enjoy the little tête-à-tête and move along.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (22 June 2014):
 If he wears a wedding ring stay well clear. Yes he MAY be divorced, may be in the process of splitting OR, most likely, married. Just don't go there.
What he did was extremely unprofessional. You were, as such, a vulnerable young woman who was most likely scared and upset due to the break in. He took advantage of that. His job, as a Police officer, is to take down the facts and offer some professional support, not hang about for over THREE HOURS chatting you up and staring at your chest! Considering how long it takes the police to respond in an emergency, and their claims of being understaffed and overworked, he should have kept the chat to a minimum. Not spent half a working day flirting with you.
He has breached his codes of conduct, acted unprofessionally and probably done this behind his wife's back. Sounds like a married guy in his 40s who likes to take advantage of vulnerable victims of crime for his own ego.
...............................
|
