A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so here goes. There is this guy, we'll call him bob. Bob claims to be straight, but he has also told me that he loves me. Bob and I are very good friends, and I think he means love in the friend way. He has come out before as "Bi" but taken it back. I told him for the first time a few days ago that I love him, which I honestly think I do, and it didn't bother him at all. He smiled and told me he loves me too, but not in the exact same way. I want to be with bob so bad, and he sends so many hints. He's told me before that If he liked boys he would be with me, and that he's thought about doing "things" with me before. He has a girlfriend right now, and I know my boundries. I would NEVER try anything while he's with his girlfriend, but if he is ever single again, what should I do? I need some advice, help, anything? please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (17 February 2009):
 That's a hard one. His coming out as bi and taking it back and saying he loves you but not the same way you love him makes it sound like he's using you as a way to explore his own sexuality. That could end up being really bad for you, in lots of different ways.
On the other hand, if I were young and crazy in love with someone and they became free, I'd jump on it.
My advice to you is not to spend any mental energy on him right now. If he ever becomes available, you can reassess how you feel about him. In the meantime, enjoy yourself with the friends and lovers who are accessible to you.
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