A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were together for a couple of months but we were never official because he didnt see the need to label everything and just wanted to "be with each other" He wanted to have sex but I said I only do that with my boyfriend and he thought I was using it as a weapon to make him get in a relationship. I dont understands why he fears commitment because he is not a player at all and we act like a real couple, we even spent the night together once without doing anything. I "broke up" with him because it was going nowhere and I said we want different things and he said he doesnt even know what he wants but he was really sad its over. My best friend lives with him and told me that he was really sad but he understood why I was upset and wanted to fix it. We keep running into each other and he hugs me everytime and we have little friendly conversations. I just wish he could change because I really miss him and want him back. Why did he say he wanted to fix everything yet he doesnt call?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant +, writes (13 May 2009):
 He is playing the victim only to get you close enough to him to hopefully sleep with but to also keep his options open if something new comes along.
If you sleep with him and then he gets a new girlfriend, you will use the sex as a point of reference for the two of you to be together. He will tell you that he didn't want to label the relationship and that it was your choice to sleep with him.
He said he wanted to fix it but hasn't called because he wants to keep you in a state of confusion, as long as you are waiting on him to make a decision or take some action, you aren't going anywhere.
You have excellent intuition and ambition. Follow your ambitions and trust your gut. He is a player and he is the hand that keeps you down.
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