A
female
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anonymous
writes:*answers from guys REALLY appreciated* Hi, I'm female, 21yrs old. My best friend (male) has been confusing me. At my 21st bday he kissed me now he acts like it never happened.(I posted a different question about the same guy a while back http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-my-friend-up-to.html ) SHORT VERSION-----------------My best friend kissed me multiple times and felt me up (clothes on) while drunk, though hes never even kissed a girl before. But if he'd wanted to do it while drunk he could have done it before (hes a univerity student, he has no shortage of drunken college parties, with heaps of girls). But he doesn't seem to want to change things between us. What should I do? What does he want?LONG VERSION-----------------Basic plot-line is:I've known him since we were 6, we liked each other when we were little but 'supposedly' grew out of it. I love him, which I try to hide, but a year ago I admitted to having feelings for him (over email). I received no response. Anyway, I moved closer to him for university at the beginning of 2008. Since then we have become very close, talking about very personal things. On my 21st birthday I was a little tipsy and he was pretty well drunk (he could walk alright and he wasn't slurring his words, just acting very boisterous). Anyway, he kissed me, numerous times, and touched me in very intimate ways (on top of clothes). Later that night he whispered in my ear 'It took us 15 years', and after kissing me many times he sighed and said 'I'm really beginning to enjoy that'. Both of us are virgins and he has never even kissed a girl before this (hes just realy really shy).I was so happy. I thought we were finally getting somewhere... the next morning we didnt mention what happened, and after I dropped him home I sent him a text message that said 'we're not very good at this are we. :)'He said "Oh. That. we were both very drunk, and after so long knowning each other does it really change things?". I was heartbroken, but i tried to maintain my dignity and told him that it didnt change anything. He replied "oh good, thats a weight off my shoulders, now we just have to worry about what will happen next time ;)".What does he want from me? If he wanted a 'fling' you'd think he'd choose another girl with less history. Plus, I'm not his 'type' physically.-----------------Can anyone tell me what his motives are?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): You said if he wanted to kiss someone while drunk then he could have done it before at uni.
I think you may be wrong about that. Girls often believe that guys really have it as easy to get sex as they do themselves. For a lot of guys it's absolutely not true at all. The other girls might be willing if they approach them right, but that approach is the entire problem for a lot of guys. That decent approach might be just as big of a roadblock for him as if he was not attractive enough for her or something.
If this guy is as shy as you say he is then he may not have had the courage to do it to a stranger. I'm not saying what he did was a good idea but I understand it a little bit.
He might also just want you. I don't know. It's still possible although he's not doing things very well.
I think you need to get a clear answer from him. Don't start nagging him all the time but you at least have a right to a yes or no about this. he doesn't have to decide if you're his serious GF tomorrow but he owes you the answer about whether you and him are romantically seeing each other or not.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Why don't you just ask him? We aren't mind readers. We can't give you an answer, you should speak to him. X
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