A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Alright so this isn't really a question but more of a combination of a question and a rant. It might be really long but I really need help with this. Its kind of a long storyso last year was my first year in highschool. my first semester instead of having gym, I had health class. There were people I knew in my class, considering we were are all in the same grade, so I guess the class was not a complete bummer.. anyways so our teacher mrs. Wilson put us in alphabetical order, and I sat next to this guy named chris. I thought he was really cute, and was actually pretty excited about the class.He started talking to me daily, and when we had group work he always volunteered to be my partner.One day he asked me for my number so we can talk after school, and maybe hang out some time, so of coarse we exchanged numbers. So now the flirting went to not only at school, but also when we texted each other out of school. We also had a cooking class together after health everyday, where we were also able to talk to each other.Me and chris used be able to talk about anything together and it would never get weird, and considering the fact that he was somewhat immature our convos were usually really amusing lol. Everyone knew we liked each other, even our teachers, and most were just waiting for the announcement that made it official. This went on for about a month... but later things began to get awkward.One night we were texting really late, id say to about 2 am, and I was getting really tired,but he begged me to stay on. We were talking about this rumor that apparently his best friend hooked up with a senior or something like that, and we started to make jokes about it. He was acting really perverted but that was normal for him, and I knew that. And then somehow we got into a convo about pictures. AND THEN he asked me to send him a nude of me. Naturally, I said hell no, and thankfully he dropped the subject and we both went to bed.However, this is when things began to get touchy. At school he began to touch and slap my butt, which at first I was like haha ok stop it; but he never did and it was starting to get really annoying. Then he kept giving me hugs, and once even held my hand. Everyone at school now thought that we had a thing.A couple weeks later he brought up the subject of a picture again, and I always said no. I tried to be like "oh why me, and why not someone else, or just look one up on your own;and he kept telling me that I was beautiful, and he wanted to see me. I never bought it.If he thought I was pretty, and he liked me, why wouldn't he just ask me out already. (the thought cam about social statuses. He was semi popular, but most definitely not at the top, and wasn't a nerd either, but I wasn't as popular as he was). Pretty soon, he began to ask me for a photo almost everyday. It got to the point where he wouldn't even text me at least hi first. He'd just say Pic?. All during this time I was, like any other teen girl in this situation would do, absolutely telling only my closest friends what was going on. They kept telling me to drop him, before things got worse, and I got hurt, but I didn't listen. How could I? This was a guy, that actually liked me, that had never happened before; and plus he wasn't so bad looking himself either. But that was the biggest mistake I could have possibly ever made.He had never stopped asking, or getting touchyat school. It had gotten to the point where he began to beg me at school. But im a smart girl, I never gave in. Time had flied by and pretty soon It was already almost half way through in the school year. Chris had gone out with a girl in 8th grade for like 3 weeks, but their love soon disappeared. Shortly after middle school, the girl (KATHY) had started catholic school; so she no long attented our school. In December she moved back to public school. IN JUST 3 DAYS OF HER BEING BACK she and chris started going out, and were official. That broke my heart. After all of this time of leading me on, and telling me what he said, and spending time together at football games, and school dances; he just got back with Kathy, as if I had never existed. However, during their 2 week relationship, he never stopped touching, or asking me for the picture, which just proved how faithful he was. Once they broke up, things went back into full swing once again. Soon he would only ask occatinally, and our convos got really awk, and seemed to loose interest in me, but I was the total opposite. I fell in love with Chris. I felt like a princess around him, and I felt like we could talk about anything. I even would talk about him to my parents. I was sure he felt the same way. Towards the end of the year, he would only talk to me about only like once a month. My feelings never changed, but he wasn't satisfied. Once school had ended I promised him id send him a picture of me going to the beach, which I thought was perfectly acceptable, because it was just a bikini, and it was summer, so it was fine. That didn't stop him tho, he wanted more, but I refused. Once summer was over it was time to go back to school. We currently do not have any classes together but we see eachother in the hallway at least 4 times a day, and its really awkward.He has only talked to me like once this year, and all he did is say hi and we talked about school. I see him everyday and each time, my heart breaks even more. Idk if I was the one who ruined it btwn us because I didn't send the picture, or was it his fault. Im really depressed because of it. Chris has a current girlfriend of a week, and I think she knows some of what happened btwn us, because everytime I see her she stares me down, or gives me weird looks.I know he still has feelings for me, he always tries to walk as close to me as possible when in the hallway, and his friends have told me, that he still occasionally mentions me when talking to them. I now honestly do not know what to do with my life. Im not popular so therefore, its not like I get guys like its an everyday thing. I still have feelings for him, and my friends do not understand me. They think I should just forget about him. I really want to get back what we had together. and I want that sense of happiness one more time. PLEASE HELP. I need advice. What should I do?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, depressed, exchanged numbers, fell in love, flirt, immature, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanku cindycares! I think im over it, hes a jerk anyways!your advice really helped me gain some confidence haha, thanx again
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Honey, you should wake up and smell the coffee. You want back what you had... you had nothing. You had a horny smug little rascal that ,while dating more " popular " girls , was perving on you because he sensed that you were fascinated with him, attention starved and vulnerable. As you say yourself, if he had had a real interest in you, he had one full year to ask you out. Even if he did not want to make it such an official big deal, weren't yoou supposed to hang out after school ?- and you never did. He just took liberties with you and disrespected you, and you call this "feelings ". Come on, he pestered you for ages for a naked pic of you- without even ever having kissed you first ! What do you think he was going to do with your pic, put it in a silver frame on his bedstand ? It would have been a wanking tool, and if wanking with the pic of a real girl that you know well in real life,BUT you would not dream to take out ONCE for an ice cream is not exploiting and demeaning her, then you give me a definition.
Don't even be fooled by his joking and being friendly in class.That's normal,nothing special in itself, classmates DO talk and joke with each other, particularly when they are paired up or in the same group. Plus, you let him talk dirty with you,- who knows, maybe other classmates would not have let him.
Sorry if I sound harsh, I realize that you are very young, so you can't be that experienced or sophisticated, but, really, it's time to learn - better now than later : You had this coming, sort of called it upon yourself. You let him badger you for months about the pic !, why did not you take a firmer stand ? Why did you not cut contacts , when all he said in his texts was " Pic ?". And why did you let the touching and ass slapping go on for months !
You told him to stop, but, I imagine, among squeaks, blushes and giggles, feeling secretly flattered by his " attentions " . I assure that if you had been more hard nosed , and had meant business, he would have stopped.
Anyway, if there was no way of stopping him- you should have cut contacts, just like all your friends suggested.
Now, just leave Chris alone, forget about him, and give more value , time and respect to yourself. Forget all this stuff about the popular girls, the status, and the hottest guys. You NEED to value yourself highly just as you are ,
precisely for what you are , otherwise you'll keep attracting all the "chris " and the little predatory wankers like him. It does not matter if you can't " snatch " a boy now at 14, - dating at your age is not mandatory, it is in fact sort of foolish, a lot of needless drama. Have patience, your time will come- and it will come sooner if you work on your self confidence and do not comromise your dignite for a crumb of male attention.
...............................
|
