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age
30-35,
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writes: Me and my ex broke up around mid November. We really haven't communicated since the big break up. I text him and wished him a merry christmas. That is the extent of our conversation. Our pictures together are still up on his webpage and he still has me on his top friends after two months! He puts quotes up for me to read about "patience and waiting." I noticed his ex girlfriend from 3 years ago (who is legally married but separated to another man) is pursuing him! I know that she puts out too which makes me feel even worse. The real question is... if he still cares about me and plans to be with me again why is he fooling around with her? Is he not communicating with me to keep his options open? Why is he sleeping with her if his heart is still with me?
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broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, his ex, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kliciouss  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 wow i feel you on this. this is EXACTLY like me. i broke up with my ex mid november also. he keeps saying he will work it out with me but he doesn't do much to show it. i wished him a merry x-mas, happy bday, and happy new years but that was the extent of our conversation as well. the thing is, he would text me back saying "thanks, i love you" which made me think that he still loves me. then i found out his ex (the girl before me) was pursuing him. the thing is that i don't put out easily at all, and she does. that is why in the end, he is now with her again. i felt like an idiot for waiting for him.
i am telling you: no matter what a great guy he is, if it involves an ex and he takes it, it will not work. even my ex after breaking up with me never took off his status "in a relationship" two months after we broke up. he is just messing with you. he wants both of you. one he can love, one he can f*ck. who wouldn't want to have two in one? afterall, he is a guy. since he is saying he loves you while screwing someone else, he is being inconsiderate of your feelings and being selfish. don't waste your time because he thinks you will wait for him.. don't make him feel like he's on top and STILL has control over your feelings. in the end, the only one hurt will be you.
i know it will hurt letting it go but everything takes time. go out, have your fun so he knows you don't need him, that you are independent. who knows maybe one day he will crawl back to you begging, but guess what: you will be a new person with BETTER standards. then you can say "i'm not like you, i don't get back with my ex's"
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Because you're hanging around and waiting. Put up quotes about "choosing or your moving on." You don't need to be waiting around while he's out playing the field. Why should you be second choice to anyone? Pick yourself up, be strong, put mistletoe in the back of your pants, bend over and tell him to kiss it, then you find someone who is going to put you as #1.
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