A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend drinks of a weekend...not a problem but when he has a drink he either turns nasty and sometimes violent or the complete opposite...he stinks of beer and i hate it!we are arguing about this issue constantly, his reply to me 'nagging' is ''i am not giving up having a drink of a weekend, you are just trying to control my life and that not going to happen, its you or the drink? easy''If he refuses to give it up, so am i right to leave him?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 March 2013):
 Right to leave him? You'd be foolish not to.There is nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional drink, but if your boyfriend does this regularly and he's nasty or violent then I'm afraid you have what any sane person would call a deal breaker. You don't need a list of 'valid' excuses or umpteen justifications to leave someone. And you don't need to wait until someone becomes intolerable to end it. Not wanting to be in a relationship anymore is reason enough.You're not obliged to stay with a person just to keep them or others happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): Right to who? Who do you feel you have to justify yourself to if you leave him?
He made it clear what he wants.
What do YOU want?
Maybe not be in relationship with trash who values alcohol over people? Then you would be right to leave him. But not because I or anyone else approves but because it is your choice and your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): get rid of this violent man. His response "its you or the drink. easy". should be telling you all you need to know!
Please don't think he will ever change. he wont. more likely he will get worse but that wont be your fault.
protect yourself and move on.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 March 2013):
 It's not really a matter of right or wrong, it is : what else can you do ? If you can't stand him drinking, and he is adamant about not quitting, you only have two choices, either putting up with somthing you hate, or leaving him.
Anyway- the real problem is that he turns occasionally violent, and that should be in any case your exit cue. You don't stay around a violent man hoping he becomes less violent- you just ditch him, at once- if you care about yourself even just a little bit.
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