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If he really wanted to get rid of me why wouldn't he have just left it at that and be pleased that I had said goodbye. Why re-contact me again.

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2009) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I met a guy on Oasis the free Internet dating site who lives in NSW. I live in Perth. We seemed to get along really well. He then started sending me pics of his lower private parts and wanted to know what I was wearing etc and wanted intimate pics of me. At first I said excuse me I don't even know you and I would like to meet you first. He said he could understand and that we could just concentrate on getting to know one another first. I'm not sure what happened then. I suppose I got sucked in you could say with the way he spoke to me on MSN and text messages. He would send me up to 15 texts per day for the last 5 or 6 weeks everyday at first and call me Sexy Miss, kitten, Good-morning kitten, Sweet Dreams sweetheart lots of kisses and hugs etc etc and that I had become an important part of his life.

I eventually succombed to his charms and sent him a lot of intimate pics of myself via sms which I now regret. Over the last two weeks he wanted more pics and I said no I don't feel like it and he text me back whimp. I told him I didn't like being called a wimp and he said he was only teasing me.

He had also text me once before that I had asked a stupid question to him which I didn't like. I should have dumped him I suppose after the whimp comment etc then but I didn't although I starting to become wary of his sudden mood change with me.

Anyway a few nights later I had quite a few drinks and was feeling very frustrated as I wanted to see him face to face and was sick of not being able to see and be with the real person and I text him that I thought the geographical distance between the two of us was too much of an obstacle and basically nice knowing him etc.

The next morning I regretted what I said and told him that I had second thoughts and wanted to continue a friendship etc. He said he was annoyed at my indecisiveness but said however that he still wanted to continue to build a relationship with me but wanted to lay off the sex talk and just be friends until we met face to face and then see what happened.

This confused me as he was in the fact the one who was initially encouraging the pics and phone sex etc I texted him what was his sudden change of mind was as to why he didn't want to do the pics and phone calls anymore out of curious interest and he didn't respond to my text message.

He also said that he thought that I needed some time to be by myself to sort out what road I really wanted to take and that he didn't need any complications in his life and he felt that I had too much in my life to currently take on anything else.

Anyway I have text him a few times and called him and he text me back on Wednesday morning just gone and said that he was busy and that he would text me Wednesday night after he finished training.

He didn't text me back on the Wednesday night at all.

Thursday morning I text him and still didn't get any reply from him. By Thursday night I still hadn't heard from him and by this stage I was extremely anxious, upset and confused and text him a couple of times to say that I was very disappointed in the way that he was ignoring me and that his silence made me feel like I had just been used for porn pics and phone sex and I finally rang him and left a message on his voice mail and said that I was disappointed in his ignoring me and all the best for the future and goodbye etc.

At this stage I wondered whether he was just using my text message re the geographical distance as an easy cop out because I started to say no to sending him more pics or whether he is feeling genuinely pissed off about my indecision.

He said the other night that he agreed that I had stuffed up with my change of mind with the geographical distance etc but was prepared to let it slide this time but then he refused to answer text messages or answer his phone etc

Anyway Friday morning I woke up to find a text message from him saying sorry for not replying to my texts and that he had left his phone in a taxi on Wednesday night and had only just received his phone back and that he was very lucky to get it back.

I ignored that text message and he sent me another one at 5pm Sydney time yesterday to say sorry for his very rude behaviour over the last couple of days and that stress tends to cause this sort of behaviour in him and that it was one of his not so nice traits.

In the last two text messages he did not call me kitten or miss and there were no kisses or hugs like the normal texts.

I still haven't replied to that text either as I am still feeling hurt and very confused as to his erratic behaviour.

Am I making too much out of his not texting me back for a couple of days and should I text him back to give him the benefit of the doubt or should I avoid him all together.

I miss chatting to him a lot but I am confused as to why he would ignore me for two days and then re-contact me again after I said good-bye.

If he really wanted to get rid of me why wouldn't he have just left it at that and be pleased that I had said goodbye. Why re-contact me again. That's what's really confusing me ! Please help.

View related questions: msn, phone sex, porn, teasing, text

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