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If he really loves me, why is he telling me there's still time to go back to my old boyfriend?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2005)
A female , *lujordan writes:

Hi, I have been going out with this guy named Jordan* for over 2 weeks. He have been acting really strange lately. When we are alone, sometimes he says that he don't deserve me. I ask why and he says he just don't.

Before we were going out, I was going out with another guy named Brandon* and I broke up with him for Jordan.

Jordan recently said to me that it's not too late, that I can get back together with Brandon but I no longer have feelings for him. I am surely in Love with Jordan and want to make this relationship work out. I really trust Jordan and know that he would never do anything to hurt me.

Tonight he said that he loves me with all of his heart and don't want to lose me. I love him too. I am just so confused!!! Please just help me and tell me what this means and what I can do to meake this relationship work! Please help me!

View related questions: broke up, get back together

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2005):

Don't worry! Three weeks is no time at all, of course the lad's going to be unsure whether you regret your decision- it's no good thinking that he should know that you mean what you say, and vice-versa, as long as you both enjoy each others company and can be honest with each other when it matters there's no reason to flap, if nothing's broken don't try to fix it, yeah?

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 August 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntIt sounds to me as if 'Jordan' is very insecure and is worried about losing you; this may be why he says you could go back to your ex. He could be testing you just to see if you will and to see if he is going to get hurt.

I think all you can really do is simply reassure him, let him know that you only have feelings for him and no one else. Let him know also how much you want this relationship to work.

Your boyfriend just seems very worried about getting hurt and losing you. The most you can do is prove to him by words and actions that his fears are unfounded.

I hope this helps.

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (26 August 2005):

Anastasia agony auntIt seems like this guy is trying to give you a message. Guys just don't say things like this unless there is an underlying thing they want you to see. He maybe does not see you two working out but is too ashamed to come out and say it. If he tell you you can go back to your old bf, then that way he knows you won't be that lonely if you guys break up. It is very rare that you find a guy who is straight forward...very rare indeed. Telling you that he loves you may be that he is just trying to not seem so bad for wanting you to go back to your ex. Anyhow you look at it...if he does love you and is trying to see if you have feelings for ex still...this is a childish way of going about it. Best thing to do is tell him that you are confused and to plainly state what he wants...these games tend to frustrate alot of the time...take care ana

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A male reader, Gordon +, writes (26 August 2005):

Your current boyfriend seems insecure. It's often the case if you're with somebody that's just come out of a relationship and into another one really quickly.

You didn't mention why you broke up with your ex, but it seems like your boyfriend feels it's too soon. He is just worried that you're still on the rebound and he'll get hurt.

Is your ex still in contact with you? I think first of all, you need to tell your ex how you feel about your new boyfriend. It is not fair on your ex, regardless of what you think of him. If it's only been a few weeks, he will still have feelings for you.

Tell your new boyfriend you are doing this and that will ease his fears.

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