A
female
age
41-50,
*ellilove2000
writes:Dear Cupid,I love my first boyfriend very much but I don't know if he loves me that much, because he cheats on me which I've not got him red-handed but have been informed. Any time I confront him on this issue he denies.I tried breaking up with him but he will not let me. He says am the only woman he wants to share his life with that is marry me. But Cupid, if he loves me why is he cheating on me? Because of this I don't trust him and so am always getting angry with him but deep down in my heart I love him.What should I do. I love him. I wish I had the strength to walk out of his life and not see him hurting. What should I do?Please help me.Yours truely,Feli. Reply to this Question
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My boyfriend keeps cheating on me |
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female
reader, bads2  +, writes (29 August 2007):
i he been in your situation before!
personaly i think you should let him go
if he loved you he wouldnt do that to you
hes scared becase if you finish with hi he wont get any1 eles.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): you need to be strong, dont let emotions fool u but if you realy love this guy,this is whatu should do,tell him one day you are living for good and i want you to actually keep away from him nomatter how much he pleds , i know its gonna pain you but believe me you gonna be strong and time will do this for you if you realy wanna let him go
Try this and contact me after wards
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Actions speak a whole lot louder than words. It doesn't cost him anything to say that that he loves you so much, but look at what he does when that love stands to cost him some fun with another girl. I'm sorry you're in this position and there's a lot of people out there with the same character flaw your BF has, but that doesn't make it any less wrong. He's done it, he's doing it, and he'll almost undoubtedly never stop doing it in the future. The only question is whether or not you decide to put up with it.
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A
female
reader, Skeez +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Hes cheating on you love. And you know it already!
If my boyfriend did that. even with one person and even if it was just a kiss. I would kick him to the curb and break up with him there and then. Im fed up of cheaters. And im sure you are too. Get out of that relationship. If he threatenns you. Call the police. No matter how much you think you love him. I couldnt possibly love a man who did that too me. Stand your ground. and find someone who will love you and wont cheat.
You deserve better and I hope you will realise this. remember you have your familiy who will support you. If you live together im sure your parents will let you come home. Dont stick with this guy any longer.
Goodluck hun
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A
female
reader, skyebabe +, writes (23 August 2007):
 I HATE PEOPLE THAT CHEAT I JUST DONT ARGTREE WITH IT IF THEY ARE WITH YOU Y WOULD U WANNA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE YOU JUST NEED TO SAY IM NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS YOU ARE WITH MENOONE ELSE SO STOP OR SLING YOUR HOOK!!!!! if u wanna talk email me xx DONT EVER PUT UP WITH YOU CAN DO BETTER X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Dear, if you want to believe his words of love for you over his actions of deception and betrayals to you, then I think you need a wake up call. I can tell you what I am undertsanding, from reading your posting. Telling you he loves you while being unfaithful is not the behaviors of a loving, committed man and if he's capable of lying to you then he's probably going to be continuing his unrelenting cheating behaviors, again and again, in the future. Are you up for this because it appears your bf is a serial cheater..he does it to make himself feel good about himself. He is ego-driven and many men like this can't love. They don't have an inkling about love..how can they when they don't love themselves. They need a constant ego fix. My suggestion is: gather up your pride and walk away. You will be in pain, you will grieve. But I can guarantee, in about 6 months to me when the dark cloud has lifted, you will find happiness, maybe even love again with someone truely committed to you. Maybe not, but you will feel better that you made the best decision for your own life and for finding a way out of an unhappy situation that would've laid waste to your spirit and your self-worth. Good luck hun and I hope you find the strength.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): He is cheating on you because he can....you fall for his plea, you deny responsibility in that "he won't let me break up with him". Put actions behind your words and kick him to the curb, if you continually take him back after he cheats on you, your words mean nothing, and quite frankly so do his....you teach people how to treat you.
By the way, this is a huge red flag, cheating is part of this boy's character, he won't change, not even for you, if you value fidelity in marriage, then get out now and thank your lucky stars you did not have a couple of kids with him and then find this out about him..
Real men don't cheat on their women.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): I am sure that he does love you, but has some issues with fidelity. He might have unresolved issues from childhood that is causing him to stray. How about suggesting therapy for him or you both and see if you can work through this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Feli,
Sorry to say, but if he claims to love you and yet is having sex with other women, he isn't really that committed to you. He wants to have you AND his fun.
If you are sleeping with him, PLEASE be sure to make him wear a condom! You have to protect yourself against pregnancy, and worse still, sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV! If he refuses to wear one, you need to tell him you won't have sex with him - no if's, and's or but's. Just "No condom, no sex. period."
Normally, when starting a new relationship, before you go to bed together, its advisable to get tested for HIV if one (or both) of you have had other sexual partners. This should be a mutually agreed-upon decision, regarded as the sensible thing to do, with no arguments along the lines of "WHAT! don't you trust me?" sort of reaction. Tell him you are willing to get tested yourself - even if you have not slept with anyone yet, as this will show him you take the relationship seriously, and that you are willing to show him the test results (document signed by the doctor) and that you expect him to do the same.
You have good reason not to trust him. If you issue an ultimatum that he either marry you and not sleep with any other woman, ever again, even if he agrees, how do you know he won't go behind your back at some point and have sex with someone else anyway? You don't.
I can't emphasize enough (and you yourself know it) the importance of trust in a relationship. Trust is something that has to be EARNED. Its not good enough for someone to tell you he's trustworthy; he has to demonstrate it by his behavior.
What do you mean, he will not let you break up with him? Does he threaten you if you do end it? If you make the decision to end this relationship let him know its final and that you will not see him, not phone, write, email, and he is not to contact you, either. If he threatens you, perhaps you should then call the police, and/or get in touch with a local women's support group. He has no right to try to stop you from ending it, if that is what you choose to do.
I do hope this is of some help. I'm sure you'll be hearing from other aunts and uncles here, so be sure to check back! And let us know how it goes!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Babe you have to realise as hard as it is that he does not love you, you do not treat someone you love in this way.
He obviously wants to have the best of both worlds, he wants a loyal loving partner and a bit on the side.
Don't let him treat you this way you deserve better than that.
If you let him carry on doing what he is doing then I'm sorry but you can not moan about it.
Take care.xx.
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