A
female
age
41-50,
*shotcupid
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating 6 months. Things have been great until he told me two days ago he wants to watch me have sex with another man, stating it is so hot when he thinks about it. He even had a dream about it and he said it was such a turn on. While I didn’t say no, I do have concerns….He had a girlfriend he loved very much. He has told me repeatedly that after dating me he now realizes that he didn’t truly love her like he thought he did. Nonetheless he was cheated on and it hurt him deeply. This was three years ago and he says when he thinks about to this day it still bothers him and hurts. She was cheating on him with several of his so called friends. My question is, if he loves me the way he says, why would he want to watch me have sex with another man considering the past?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): He is not loving you, that is why he wants to see you with other person, if he loves you, he would have never told you this, it hurts any man regarding his girl with other man
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): To make a long story short ....... Women have sex out of love for their partner. Men aren't wired that way. We don't connect sex with love on the same level as women that's why he is think about watching you with another man. If you decide to do it make sure it's what you want to do. Don't do it because that's what he wants you to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): since he was cheated on he might be just testing if you would ever actually cheat on him, by him giving u permission to do so or by saying that its a turn on, maybe he thinks if he says that, that you'll agree to it, but if hes serious about it then am sorry to say but no he doesnt love you because if he did he wouldnt want to see you with anyone els in anyway expecially sexually, i know if my bf asked me to do something like that no matter how long we are together that would be the end of our relationship am not saying that you should do that but if hes seriously asking you to do that then he obviously has no love or respect for you, and you dont want to be with someone like that.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 I admit frankly that my advise is totally biased, and totally my own opinion without any supporting evidence :
No, he does not love you. At all. If he'd love you - he could not stand the thought of sharing you with another man- under his eyes.
I am not a jealous woman.Like, I never felt threatened by a partner watching porn, or looking at some pretty girl, or having female fiendships. I never snoop or check phone logs and computer history. I don't ask many questions, and none about past lovers. I'd say I am pretty chill. And yet, the idea of someone I love having sex with another - right under my nose ! - makes me physically sick. It makes me want to vomit- forget about turned on .
I am not saying that mine is the only right or natural reaction, but I suspect it is very very common - so in the case of someone like your boyfriend it may be at least prudent to check what "love " really means in his vocabulary . So that you can make sure he loves you for yourself - and not as a mean to fulfill his fantasies.
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