A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We hooked up at a party where we met 3 months ago and since then we have been going out on dates every week or every other week. And there have been a lot of making out with him. But we never made it official or talked about whether we are in a relationship or not. It seems that he wants to be with me but doesn't want anything serious... but I'm not even sure... it is very confusing...I haven't really tried to talk to him about the situation, because I'm afraid that he is just a player and I will get hurt. And anyways I just wanted to have fun and not ruin everything...Now, we haven't talked for 4 weeks, no calls, no e-mails, no IMs .. nothing ... but we maybe talked once per week before, so it is not that much of a change... and we haven't had a fight or anything... we just don't talk... so I don't know if I should contact him first or just move on...?And if I contact him... what should I say?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Girl,I have been there and done that. I suggest you move on. He has no intention in having a real relationship with you. You might have thought that u guys shared something special but to him it was just a fling. The reason y he has not called is because he's probably married, engaged or he's a player. But i'm thinking that he and his girl had a fight and broke up and then made up recently. So basically u were a rebound just to fill the sapce until he girl returned to him. Its hurts but thats life and trust me I know what i'm talking about.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 April 2010):
When a man is interested, he will make an effort. He really will. this guy just isn't interested. Best to move on
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Well! You could find out where he stands by calling him first. You could give it a try if you want.
It is a strong possibility that his attentions could have wandered to female/females during the time when he was not talking to you .
You were just one of his many options.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok. So I feel like I need to defend him on this one. Because I am responsible for the situation we are in as much as he is. He hasn't called, but I haven't called either. And he has never ignored any calls or messages from me before.
Is it possible that he thinks that I am the one who is not interested any more and that's why he doesn't want to try to anymore?
And for the intimate part... Maybe we have been going too fast, but I've been enjoying that part too. And that is how it all started anyways. I actually never expected him to call after the party where we first met. But he did, and as I said we've been going out until we stopped talking and I don't even know why...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Don't give yourself away so easily. You deserve MORE. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know where you stand with someone--in fact it is healthy and normal. But you need to take things a LOT more slowly, so you can find out if someone truly cares about you. I think especially for women it is a big mistake to rush intimacy. We get too attached, and sometimes to the wrong person. Someone who REALLY likes you for who you are will NOT be in a rush to get intimate. And to answer your question, if no contact for 4 weeks, I would say move on. Very good chance you are not the only female in his life, and he has been busy elsewhere for the past 4 weeks.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (8 April 2010):
If he is interested, he would contact you .
If you want to contact him , just ask how is life or what is he doing at the moment.
It would be better to just move on as he has also moved on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Move on. Have you seen the movie "He's Just Not that Into You"? Seriously, don't waste your time even thinking about him. If a guy wants to be with you, he will try. He's not. So move on.
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