A
female
age
30-35,
*eh2014
writes:I experienced my 1st real BU a year ago. I loved the guy and I put my all in the relationship, he ended up taking me for granted. I am starting to date another guy and I keep having doubts, just afraid that he isn't into me as much as I am into him. I would rather be single, then be in a relationship like that again. We are doing LD and although we aren't exclusive yet, we aren't dating anyone else. He is a terrible texter (he told me that), sometimes taking hours to respond, but he does send sweet texts (good morning/night etc), 99% if I don't text good night, he texts it 1st. He rarely initiates vid chats, but is always open to them and we could spend several hours talking. I know if he wasn't interested he would cut them short or always tells me he was busy. Can these doubts just be because I was hurt in the past? The guy hasn't done anything wrong, he respects me and is very sweet to me. I am going down to see him next month, he is even giving up a trip w/friends for the time I come visit (he mentioned the trip, but I didn't know when they were going). Normal to feel or no? I just want him to initiate a little bit more.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 October 2016):
 You can tell him how you feel but you could be risking scaring him if you are both not exclusive, if you feel he is not making enough effort then yes you should be honest with him, it's best to tell the truth. He might be relaxed but the thing is long distance does take effort from both people so talk to him and see what he wants. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (22 October 2016):
 Don't be desperate to get married. Many single women make that mistake and in their keenness to walk down the aisle, settle for just about anything.
It's not that there are just two people that you have to choose from... The local guy and the LDR guy. I can't stress this enough- you need to spend time together, face to face, meeting often, before you take a decision about marriage. You need to see him at his best and his worst. Going to visit him for a few days does not count. Everyone is at their best behavior for a short span of time.
Be open to meeting other guys as well. And I don't buy the "terrible texter" excuse in the least. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that if a guy likes you, he'll do anything and I mean anything, to be with you, to talk to you, to keep in touch with you. My husband was a so-called terrible texter but when we met, all that went out of the window. He wanted to talk to me all day, every day and I think we exchanged hundreds of texts in the brief period that we dated before getting married, most of them initiated by him.
If this guy likes you enough, he will initiate ways and means to be in touch with you.
It's up to you too decide now.
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A
female
reader, Meh2014 +, writes (22 October 2016):
Meh2014 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been single for most of my life and I'm at the age where I would like to settle down in the next couple of years. I am willing to put in the effort for LDR because I have dated someone locally and I still felt very distant from him, I really don't think that he cared for me all that much. Its not an ideal scenario, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Can I tell him how I feel? He seems very interested otherwise.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (22 October 2016):
LDRs are not easy and especially not when you don't know the person well enough. If you've spent a substantial amount of time together and then have to stay apart, you might be able to make the relationship work even though it'd still be difficult. For two people as young as you and not having known each other that well, it's not an ideal scenario.
Why not just be single for a bit and date someone more accessible when the time is right?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2016):
 Maybe an LDR is not the way to go?
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