A
female
age
41-50,
*weetnovember
writes:I met a guy online five months ago,we started chatting as friends and after some time we started talking romance to each other.I didn't believe in "long-distance online relationships" because I had bad experience ,but he kept saying that distance is not problem for him as he can come see me anytime if things go well.On his vacation he wanted to come here for two weeks but I said no,I'm not ready(I got scared that he won't like me when he sees me).He was disappointed ,but he said he'll wait.Three weeks ago he invited me there for Christmas and I said we'll talk about it.Then one night he disappeared and didn't come online again.I was worried at first as we talked the night before and everything was ok.Then I got confused and emailed himasking him what's going on.I sent him a e-card with my number asking him to call me and tell me if everything is ok.No reply,no call.I know he opened the card and read it -what I can't understand is -why all that change?If he didn't want to talk to me anymore he could just say that-this silent treatment is killing me.Is it possible it was all a game for him?What should I do ?
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female
reader, Anonny +, writes (13 November 2008):
Hi,There has been a couple of times in my life where I have been getting on well with a guy and then BANG! - No further contact! - I actually believe some guys are too cowardly to say they don't want to stay in touch!! - But like you - the silent treatment and not knowing what has happened is killing!!He may still get back in touch depending on how long ago you heard from him!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): You haven't met him and you've already argued? Not good. You're wise not to email him any more. 'Nuff said!
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A
female
reader, sweetnovember +, writes (13 November 2008):
sweetnovember is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for your honest opinion,I know I maybe made a mistake when I told him not to come ,but he always seemed like a reasonable,understanding person and I never taught he can just disappear without explanation.Whenever we had an argument he was the one who wanted to clear things and always asked for straight answer.I guess it's hard to understand someone's behavior when you've never looked into their eyes.
One thing I know for sure -I shouldn't email him anymore-no one wants needy desperate stalkers.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 I guess he figured since you weren't willing to meet face to face he wasn't going to waste anymore time on you. I mean what fun are romances that are only online?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I know you're feeling doubtful about his true nature. Its hard to guess what he's up to because you've never met him. Its almost very important for you to remember to trust your instincts and play safe. All I can say is that you'll have to wait. And yes its possible its all a game to him and deep down, you're aware of the risk. Don't get too worked up on him and stay cool. If you don't like online distance relationships, why don't you try the traditional dating local guys? There's also the possibility that he's caught up with something important and hasn't have any time to reply you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Did you meet him on a dating site? If so, he's probably got someone else that's willing to meet him now and maybe spend Christmas with him. If so, he doesn't see any reason to correspond any further with you.
Let it go. Good riddance? You'll never know I suppose!
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A
female
reader, helpjayne +, writes (13 November 2008):
 it could have been all a game unfortunatly you have no way of finding out whats gone on. i think stop worrying about it make more internet friends and meet new people i no it's killing you and it's a hard situation but if he truly likes you he'l find a way of gettin back in touch speak to other people.
the more people you get to know the less you'll be thinking about him.if he's that ridiculous he can't wait a little while longer for you to feel comfortable enough to meet him, it's not worth meeting him he'd only try and rush you into other things, i think you need to build your confidence up a bit if you don't mind my say so only you feel that your not good enough to be seen makes me sad your probably one mans definition of beauty take pride in yourself and stop worrying, plenty more fishies in the sea.
learn to love yourself before you learn to love other people that way when the next guy comes along you'l have no problem meeting him
take care
x
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