A
male
age
51-59,
*helonederanger
writes:Hi,I am hoping someone can help me.I have not felt love only lust, for a long time. I have been with some girls but they have never made me feel love for them. I had recently made up my mind to find someone I can love and settle down with her.Some months ago a new Korean girl started at work. We instantly got on. Chatted and laughed and then we didn't really see each other for a while. Then a couple of weeks ago I saw her again and said hello and asked for her phone number. We went out once then we spent an entire weekend together and it was wonderful. We talked about things that we shouldn't in such a short time. She talked about love and marriage and we pretty much held each other all weekend.It was very intense. We moved way to quickly and continued to spend the week together. Last night. (wednesday after weekend) I saw a side to her that has really scared me. I remained calm and I had done nothing at all wrong but she continued to remain very unhappy with me through out the night. When we were in bed she got up and started packing. I got up and said if she wanted me to take her home I would. I am not sure but I think she was just seeking attention because she didn't go home and instead we ended up in bed yet again.I have been experiencing some very intense emotions and while before I was focused and driven all I can do is think about her now. She still seems very interested in me but I feel like I am slipping away into a dark hole and my heart is constantly hurting when I am apart form her.I know that this sounds very childish and I am not a child I am a grown man. I very much want to take control of my life again and continue to see this girl. But all the time I feel like I am loosing her. And I feel like I am loosing my mind and worry that I will get hurt by her. I have fallen head over heels for her and do not want to mess this relationship up with stupid emotions and jealous thoughts that have no reason to be there. Why have I become so paranoid all of a sudden and how can I keep this girl. She seems to be very fond of me too. Please help me I am losing my mind?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Relax and take it easy. Perhaps you have finally found the one girl you love. Maybe you've become paranoid because this whole falling in love thing is new to you. Be honest and genuine to her and also take time to really talk to her to know what she wants. You mentioned that this girl is a Korean. Maybe due to her upbringing, she's more reserved about her true emotions. Be patient and don't try to force her to spill all her thoughts at one go. As she seems very fond of you, cheer up because there's a chance that this relationship is going somewhere.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 You know the answer to this. Be a man, and realize that women will come, and women will go. Enjoy whatever you have for the moment, but always be prepared to let it go.
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