A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like a neighbour he did show a bit of interest but has now backed off and nothing ever developed. however i have recently been seeing someone just for mutual benefit only- i came out of this persons place and someone said hello i turned round and no one was there and was hiding. i think my neighbour may have followed me i dont care about that however now the neighbour is being nasty/angry to me and making cutting remarks and even went down the drive singing we'll meet again!!! IF he didnt want me why is he acting like that?? I never went out with him or slept with him so surely me having not had sex for god knows how long I am entitled to a bit of fun in my life (we both know its ok for us that way)so is my neighbour jealous if so he knows i like him so why isnt he getting me himself he is single and has many female acquaintances and through social media etc whats his problem here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2021): Anyone who you suspect might be stalking you, is someone you should be extremely wary of! What do you mean when you say you don't care that he has followed you? It is cause for extreme caution and worry. I suspect that you feel flattered that he is interested in you enough to follow you, but this is misplaced. You need to understand that when men follow/stalk you, they are controlling, often unstable mentally and often dangerous. Then for him to behave in an angry/aggressive manner towards you for being with someone other than him, underlines the fact that he is controlling and unpredictable.
The fact that you have started to justify your behaviour in your post worries me even more. It says to me that you feel you need to justify your behaviour to this man when you start to explain to us that you haven't had sex in a long time so surely....etc etc.
It is nobody's business if you want to have sex with the man you are seeing or how much sex you have had lately to justify this. It's not the explaining to us that concerns me, it's the fact that I feel you need to justify your actions to him. You DON'T. I worry that you like him and that he is already getting to you and putting you in the position where you want to explain yourself. It's bad news when a man makes you feel that way.
Don't feel flattered by him, try to feel worried and angry that he is not respecting your privacy or your boundaries and if you decide to get involved with this very worrying specimen of manhood, then prepare for more of the same and worse!
I would avoid, avoid, avoid. Don't be pleasant or pass the time of day, he may see this as a green light regarding your interest, keep yourself away from him if at all possible. If your paths do meet, then a very simple hello and hurrying on your way is all I would advise.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 October 2021):
 Yikes, why would you even want anything to do with this neighbor? He is a frigging creeper!
OP, don't crap where you eat.
As in, don't date where you work or where you live. If things don't work out, it can end up being complicated and/or super awkward.
If you are on his social media and he on yours, BLOCK him and remove him.
Ignore him but keep an eye out, he sounds a bit unstable. If you want you CAN be polite, personally I would do the BARE minimum - if he greets you, just nod or wave, don't get into conversations. YOU DO NOT owe him ANYTHING.
Let me repeat....
YOU DO NOT owe this man anything. He might have liked a roll in the hay or two but he can't really expect you to sit and wait for him to make an actual move.
If he starts any kind of harassment- CALL the police. If he shows up at your door don't open it.
Let family and friends know that THIS man is acting weird.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you however it might not have been him who said hello it could be someone who saw me and went back into their house so
all perfectly innocent -in hindsight when i think about it how would he have known i was there at that time so probably wasnt him at all
however what you say about neighbours yes it is too close for comfort they are gossips where i live the guy older one who lives in the flat next to him never misses a thing and always in ones face so it wouldnt be possible anyway. will just have to put it down as a no no
thanks anyway
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2021): Seems pretty creepy to me. Especially, when you think he may have followed you somewhere.
My advice is to back-off. Something seems off about the guy.
If he's jealous, and being belligerent, that's even scarier!!!
Leave the guy alone. If he continues to harass you, or follow you around; let him know you'll call the police. Not to make you paranoid; but it doesn't sound like he's playing with a full deck.
I'd discretely record abusive-language and video any threatening behavior. Keep it as evidence, should things get out of hand. Don't respond or react, just go about your business. That's not the kind of attention you want from any man! Nobody, really!!!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (4 October 2021):
 He sounds very immature to me, and if it was him that followed you, then called out then hid is rather creepy in my opinion.
If he does like you he certainly has a funny way of showing it. I think that you should let this one go and find someone more normal.
Also dating neighbours is like dating people we work with. Its all good when things are rosy, but when/if things go sour then things can become very awkward indeed.
Be polite and pleasant if you see him, just like you would be with any other neighbour, but my advice would be to not look at him as possible dating material if i was you.
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