A
female
age
36-40,
*ooe
writes:Hello people I love this forum and I have this story with a someone and I can't understand anything at allI’m a girl and once I found a man we had sex and enjoyed each-other it was amazing. He was cool and awesome I had his phone we texted a lot added him on Facebook and he said I don't usually add just anyone as a friend in Facebook it felt great. I know him he is not emotional. Then after time he said I have a relationship and I love her but she not satisfying me in sex that’s why I have cheated not only with you and with other people also. He said lets be friends with benefits because I had fallen for him and I looked for a meaning. I told him I can’t. You are in relationship and it’s wrong and cheating. We argued a lot tried to convince me but failed. I loved him and told him and he said he loves me too but he can’t leave her because he committed and he feels like he taking care of her. He said lets be friends.I can’t, offered to lose you, you are great and everything all the sweet talks. I tried but once we were watching movies and he hold my hands close and I read this how they show affection and things.I was loving him I told him I can’t do it as friends I need the whole of you. I love you he said I cant I wish I knew you earlier and everything I can’t hurt her she loves me and I love her and I'm happy now. Then I told him I can’t we left for a while then he came begging me to change my mind as being as friends but I said I can’t. He used to tell me I miss you even more than her and always giving me a feedback about him even if I didn't ask.If he happy and loves her why he cheats ?!Did he loved me or just playing or just needs me as friend?!Does he make this decision because of just the idea of commitment even if he is not getting what he needs?!Does he loved me or no?!Should I stay as friend maybe something will come up because I made him to choose?!Now after I said I cant I, thought he will come will fight more but he acted cold and do nothing, like I wasn't in his life and that's hurting me. I’m feeling like a fool.What’s hurting me is every time I say Goodbye, he refuse to say it "No it's not goodbye" and that giving me hope or chance that he will decide or something. he truly ruined me but I’ll be better. I wish I can see the regret he is all happy acting like I’m nothing in his life and no change or lose happenedAfter a while he sent this message through Facebook"From my experience in this life, most of the good things happen in our lives in the wrong place ...amp; at the wrong time. We rarely get the right things or what we really want at right time; in the right place.When I first met u, I realized how different u r from typical girls we meet every day or we know. I liked u much and when I knew u more I really wanted to be with u and share my life with u. But the thing is that I met u in the wrong time coz I was already involved in a relationship with someone. Yes, it's my mistake that I met someone; cheated on my girlfriend but when I decided to be a good person...; be loyal to my girlfriend, it was hard to keep it up with u as it started between us...amp; thought to have u as a friend for life coz I really can't say how much I like u and proud to have u as a friend for life..I'm now writing to you to say few things to you only...u have to know that u r the most priceless person I ever met in my life and if I was single, I would never let u go, but I had to.You have to know that I will do whatever it takes to keep you as a friend for life... I'll be no longer in here...; a relationship is no longer an option between us... However, we still can be the two best friends ever...; forever...I'm writing this to you from the bottom of my heart...; I mean every single word... I like u very much , I love u very much and I am pretty sure that I will never get a better caring, adorable, warm hearted person than yourself.You are always in my mind...; when I read something from u on twitter or Facebook I panic but I pretend if there's nothing... I'm not selfish...; I think about you also... If I was selfish I could have told u that I love u and we could have been together for few months then left u in here and get back to the town, but it's not me... I care about you and your feelings, that's why I wasn't in touch with you for quite long time... It's quite hard...; tough but I did it for the sake of both of us...You have to know that I will never say goodbye to you , even if you decided to cut it off between us , you will still be Meo the best person I ever known in my life.All my best wishes to you in your entire life...; all the best of luck with your career... you are a very good, decent, polite, dedicated person...; you deserve the best in everything...I will be there for you anytime you need me... I'll be more than happy to serve you, help you, support you, listen to you, stand by you, advise you, or anything else... I'll be there for you I promise... I promise... I promise...Yours, with love"Please help me to understand I'm driving myself crazy.Thanks for the big help in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 If someone has a track record of cheating then what makes you think they won't cheat on the next person?
You can't trust someone who cheats so how can you expect to have a relationship with someone who cannot be trusted?
Without trust there is nothing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): "If he happy and loves her why he cheats ?!"Because he doesn't love her, he just says he does so she'll have sex him."Did he loved me or just playing or just needs me as friend?!"You were an easy lay."Does he make this decision because of just the idea of commitment even if he is not getting what he needs?!"You're no longer an easy lay because you're now too high maitenance. He can get a piece on the side elsewhere without the drama. "Does he loved me or no?!"No."Now after I said I cant I, thought he will come will fight more but he acted cold and do nothing, like I wasn't in his life and that's hurting me."As previously stated, you're no longer worth the effort required to have casual no-strings sex on the side. "I’m feeling like a fool."You are, but then you had no compunctions about continuing to sleep with a guy whom you knew was cheating on his girlfriend.Sorry, but some scumbag fed you a line and told you whatever you wanted to hear just so he could get into your pants, and now that you've become tiresome he's doing his damnedest to dump you but you keep latching on like a barnicle to a rusty scow despite his best efforts to politely scrape you off without being too unkind and you just don't get it.You've been played for a fool. Learn from your grievous error in judgment and move on. You're not the innocent starry-eyed victim you want us to believe you are, you should have walked away the minute he said he was in a relationship. Don't blame him for your lack of morals. If you don't smarten up then you're going go fall into bed with the next scumbag who plays to your ego and vanity with similar disatrous results.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Darling, I think he's just playing you because you're a sweet and caring and maybe even soft hearted person to him. I've met someone like that before, foolishly agreed to pursue an underground relationship from him, and ended up feeling like crap. It took my a good 7 months to end this thing and you have no idea how good I felt afterwards. From what I read, you are a person who respects others, especially not by being a third party. This guy is a jerk for lying to you and it's best if you tell him to never contact you again. You deserve so much better girl! All the best!
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