A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:If a man has cheated in a previous relationship/marriage, is it likely that it will happen again? I have been dating a very nice man for 6 months. He has been divorced for 10 yrs, I've been divorced for 5. I asked what happened in his marriage, and he said he cheated on her (and has a lot of regrets about it). This scares me because my ex husband cheated on me for several years (I didn't want to believe it, even after people told me it was happening). I feel afraid, because I don't want that to happen to me again. I think it has had a devastating effect on my self-esteem. I know that there might not be any way to prevent such a thing--but should I worry about this?He has always been very attentive, loving, and considerate when we go out together--and doesn't seem to be interested in looking at anyone but me. The only complaint I have is that he doesn't seem to miss me when we don't see each other (we usually only see each other once a week). It has been about a week and a half this time since I have seen him. I don't feel that he is seeing anyone else, it just seems that he has his own routine and likes his alone time. I don't think he has room in his life for me--that is the sad thing about meeting someone later in life. It's sometimes not possible to fit into someone else's life like you can when you are both young (he's 48, I'm 50). I really hate to think of living alone for the last part of my life. I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't look for someone else who wants to share a life together, but I do really love him. I know I probably sound crazy, but I feel frustrated. I feel like our relationship isn't developing into anything more than just casual dating (although we are dating exclusively). Am I just impatient? And should I be worried that he might cheat on me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): i think deep down you already know the answer to your question. i think i know the answer too: yes he may/will cheat on you. as Soon said cheaters just switch partners. a sad but true fact.
cheaters only have "regrets" when they are outed or confess. they care nothing about the people they hurt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): there are serial cheaters who just cant control themselves and just always give into temptation but then there are those who just make a mistake. You have to look at the situatiuon. Was the relationship on the rocks? Was it a one time thing or full out affair? A lot of times there are underlying reasons. I know someone who was married and always cheated on his wife but then divorced and stayed completely faithful to his second wife. BUT remember: If you are not completely happy in this relationship then you cant settle. It sounds like he can't really meet your needs. If being away from each other is going to always be hard on you and you don't think it will change, then this might not be the relationship for you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Try to think more positively. Life is more pleasurable if your thoughts are always positive.
There is no way you can tell if a person will cheat on you .The only person who can tell is God.
We all go through life and make many mistakes because we are only human . No one is perfect . Live in the present and do not worry about the future . The future will come and your worrying will not change anything in the future.
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A
male
reader, loonman4 +, writes (26 May 2010):
After being very hurt in a previous relationship, I started dating a woman who I only saw once a week. But I was'nt cheating on her, I think I was emotionally protecting myself. As for your ages, people do start getting set in their own ways. Six monthes is usually the most fun part of the human bonding process, after that, things start to plateau. I would'nt panic at this point.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 May 2010):
There is always a chance he will do it again. Just as there will always be a chance that a man or women who has never cheated will cheat. Some men are prolific cheaters. Others cheat once, then never do it again. You know he's cheated, so at the back of your mind, you'll always have a worry about it. I think this is very much a case of you taking your time to get to know him, and really seeing where this could go. At this time, I'll be honest and I'll say that he doesn't' seem to be to close to committing to you. But take more time and get to know him more. And whatever you do, don't let the fear of being alone make decisions for you.
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