A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:if a girl gets raped her first time will it bother her her whole life?will she ever be happy?wil she be able to live happily?will it be terror for her life?or will she be alright afterwards Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 As someone who has been through this i can tell you that you never forget what happans to you and it does effect you, but over time you learn to accept what happend and learn to live with it youlearn to trust and love again i used to suffer awful nightmares about it but even they have gradually faded. You cannot let it effect you or control you otherwise you will never be happy.
Just accept that it has happend and get help and talk about it that seems to make it easier, just dont let it control you and rule you remeber everyone gets what they deserve in the end
A
female
reader, shaniii +, writes (19 November 2008):
seeing your question i hope i can help .when i was 12 i was raped and although iv never forgotton that awful experience i can say that in my case it got easier im 20 now and although il never fully trust ne man again when it comes to sex i have in time been able to get over what happened when i was twelve while i will always have the scars that remind me of what happened i dont let it ruin my life . for me the love of a great man made me see that instead of reliving it i should just start living. although being raped stole my virginity i no longer see it as being sex i hope this helped you whatever your reasons for posting the problem
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Okay, I'm going to make this a bit long, so bear with me. I was raped and lost my virginity when I was very young, I remember the experience. I do have a great sex/love life with a man I love and trust very much. However, That experience does come back to me sometimes. You have to stay away from things that will trigger you, such as if you were drinking, and it happened, then stay away from alcohol, or at least drink in the company of people that you trust. You will learn to forgive, but you will never forget. That's something else I have learned. Sometimes, I get bad, and want to call him, and ask him why. but I dont. That gives him power over me, and he will never again have that. And then other times, I dont even think about it. You are in my prayers. Good Luck
Victoria~
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Darling! If this girl lets it effect her life then it will. But you can get over it, I can assure you. Of course it is there in the back of your mind, but over time it gets less and less. Eventually, if you are strong you will come to trust men again (as we all know "they are not all like that"). The main thing is to talk it through, and come to realise that its not your fault. Things like this happen, but why should you let another person ruin your life. XXX
Hope your ok.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Different people are affected in different ways. This is obviously a very difficult question to answer because I haven't been raped! *touchwood* Some of people get over it quickly, but most need help from counselling. However many do find their feet with help.
Did this happen to you? If so you have my every sympathy and best wish. Talk to another rape victim who has overcome their experience - they might be able to give you some useful steps on your way to recovery and tell you what worked for them =]
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