Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Tisha's answer sums it up. I like that one best.
Rejecting someone is difficult for most people, but especially so for those who think it's their responsibility to keep everyone happy.
I think you should leave it alone now and stop listening to your friends, who are obviously young guys and really know very little about women. If she wants to go out with you, she knows where to find you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Sometimes "no" is being clouded by kindness.
It's not easy to say NO any more than it's easy to ask....
she's being kind and saying NO softly. Most women do not want to have to hit you over the head with a stick.
if a woman says 'maybe later" or "i can't I'm busy" and does NOT suggest a firm date to reschedule, more than likely she's NOT interested.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 October 2013):
 She's not interested. your friends are dead wrong. she is trying to gently let you down and hope you just get the hint without having to flat out spell it out for you.
Reading between the lines, she is saying "I don't want to see you. Please stop contacting me."
Girls don't like to seem like bitches. That's why they do that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2013): Consider it a "no" if a woman makes excuses. In this case she has done it repeatedly. Be a gentleman, and just move on.
Your friends are wrong, or setting you up. She's not interested.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 October 2013):
 Sometimes saying "no" to a guy who doesn't seem to get the hint feels like kicking a puppy. You get the sweet smile with the hopeful happy eyes, almost a tail wag and it feels so mean to discourage him by saying "No! Off! Leave it!" The thought of watching those eyes droop in sadness when the answer is a flat out rejection is just too uncomfortable to stomach. It feels kinder to put off the "no" to another time.
I'm not saying that's what's happening in her case. She may well like the ego boost she gets from being pursued by guys and likes the thrill of breaking their hearts.
Or she may just be unable to say "NO!!!!! STOP ASKING ME OUT!!!!!" to your face. It can be very difficult for a woman to say such a blunt "no" as we are often socialized to be people-pleasers and to not cause waves.
Don't take it personally.
Just do take the hint now, unless you want to get the flat out "NO" from her and then have her talk to her friends about how clueless you are?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013): Find your answer in what the girls does, not in what she says. That will serve you well in life.
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female
reader, jls022  +, writes (13 October 2013):
Just as another possibility, she could be nervous. I am quite shy (although I hide it well) and when I was a bit younger I would agree to go on dates with guys I genuinely liked, but as the time got nearer I'd be so nervous that I'd often cancel. It sounds silly but spending time one on one with someone was a big deal for me - I was worried I'd run out of things to say or I'd say something stupid and make a fool of myself so I'd end up avoiding the situation altogether. It may not be the case here, but it could be a reason why she continually agrees then cancels?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013): Some people don't like to seem mean so they come up with excuses instead of saying no hopping you will at some sage get the point that she is just NOT interested. Move on.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (13 October 2013):
 I think it's one of two things. She either can't bring herself to say "no" for fear of causing you offense, or she enjoys the attention/ flattery of being asked out but doesn't want any more than that. Either way, if I were you I'd stop inviting her out and start looking for someone who's clearly interested and not being all flaky.. Good luck.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 October 2013):
 If she keeps making excuses I just don't think she is interested in dating you.
Some girls like the chase, your friend is right, BUT they would not turn you down EVERY time if they wanted the chase.
I'd back off totally. IF you are looking for a girl to date, she isn't it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013): Sometimes its cruel to be kind. That is, letting a guy down gently is worse than blasting him with both barrels and getting it over with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013):
Because your an option !!!
She knows she can blow you of and hey that's okey you'll just wait and then ask her out again..
I'd just put her out your mind and move on .. There plenty of girls in the sea .. Or around the corner haha
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (13 October 2013):
 I think some girls feel rude or uncomfortable being honest and just saying no. Personally I prefer to be honest but I do get called blunt sometimes!
They are probably just trying to let you down gently.
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