A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't really know where to start if I'm honest, I met a guy on my holiday. He is from Wales and I'm from England, so we are 3 and a bit hours away on a train from one another. He has been a self confessed man whore in his past after sleeping with 18 girls. When we met he was insistent he didn't want a relationship, he thought it was a 'mugs game' in his own words. I told him I never lusted after anyone and I had always been the complete relationship kind of a girl. By the end of our fortnight together, we ended up making out but never had sex. He told me the truth and said really he had never paid this much attention to a girl before and said I was different to all the other girls he had been meeting in the wrong places.. I was cautious about how to react, I've been lied to before and hurt. Ever since this holiday we have talked on the phone every single day, no fail.. He is always texting and checking in on me and I really have started to fall for him. But the thing is he came to visit me last weekend, in all my life I have never been so confused. Me and my friend were going to give him a lift home, as we went to get him from his friends, his friend shouted over "Mate, I don't know what your talking about, she is well fit" and I was thinking to myself, ah its just banter between the lads and forgot about it. Then when he got to my house, we went to my room (I live in a University Bed sit) he got in my bed and hid under the duvet which I thought was really weird, I went and sat next to him and asked him like what are you doing, he was like I'm tired after the train, I was like well that's fine and he stayed under there for like ten minutes, then eventually after persuasion he came out and we started making out a bit. The whole weekend, he didn't once want to look me in the eye other than when he was drunk and he told me he really really liked me and said he didn't want me to look him in the eye because he has a stigmatism and I told him not to be stupid and I didn't care, I just liked him for who he is. Then we did stuff other than sex and he didn't even give me a hug afterwards? Which I have never had before, he practically ran to the shower and couldn't get away fast enough. He went home after the weekend and we seem to have gone back to texting as normal. By the end of the weekend and this week, I'm left confused and I don't really know what is going on. Anyone shed any light?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2013): He's not a man whore. He's inexperienced. I wouldn't be a surprised if he's actually a virgin. He's like what? Between 18-21 I'm guessing? And he's slept with 18 girls? To have slept with 18 girls in such a short amount of time he'd have to be a VERY good ladies man. Nothing you have written says to me that he is.
Bottom line is, he's shy and inexperienced and is talking out his arse. He has no idea how to "woo" a girl that's why he has come across as awkward and weird.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (13 October 2013):
 Hi OP,
I'm not surprised you're confused. Because you're ignoring your gut instincts. You didn't really "forget" his mate's unkind comment, you buried it away rather than ask him what it meant and where it came from. I don't blame you, who wants a confrontation when it's supposed to be a pleasant date, but that comment came from somewhere....
You have invested a lot in a man who told you upfront that he didn't want to be in a relationship - has he ever gone back on that statement and said he'd like a girlfriend? Specifically, you? I know he has phoned every day so it's confusing, but his view of relationships being a mugs game is a great big huge red flag. Yes he could change his mind or viewpoint for the right person, but he sounds like an unlikely gamble.
And then he acted VERY strangely hopping under your duvet - did he expect you to join him? That's just weird, presumptuous behaviour. And the running off to shower rather than hug is the sort of thing a person who is accustomed to emotionless one night stands would do, by the way, so it fits his man whore label.
His not looking you in the eye is more likely that he feels guilty (when sober) because he knows he is still a man whore while you're a decent young woman who has stated that she's looking for a relationship. He knows he's being dishonest and can't meet your eye (until drunk). That's my take on it, anyway.
Oh and he lives 3 hours away.
All in all, there are too many ticks in the 'no' column and none (that I can see) in the 'yes' column.
Personally I think your life would be more simple without him in it. Sorry to be so negative but that's my honest opinion. All the best x
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (13 October 2013):
 Ok, I've read your letter and spent some time thinking about it and I can only come to two conclusions about this guy.
The first is that this guy is very inexperienced and about as much of "man whore" as Cliff Richard!
He certainly doesn't come across as having any experience with the female persuasion let only any moves. Let's be honest "man whores" or players only have one thing going for them and that's their experience in the sack!
The second conclusion is that he likes you but doesn't fancy you.
Either way the long term forecast for this relationship isn't good and I think you deserve a nicer guy with better manners.
I hope this helps AB x
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