A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:There's a boy in my class who's really cute, smart, nice, everything I like in a guy but he ignores me. I try talking to him and he either doesn't talk to me or tells me to leave him alone. I've passed him notes in class and left notes in his locker and he still doesn't get it. I asked him to a dance, he turned me down and almost got angry. Others pick on him and accuse of him of being gay because he ignores me, yet he still does it. I don't think he's gay and I've found out he doesn't have a girlfriend, so I don't know what's wrong. I found out his address and phone number so I thought about dropping by his house or texting him, but am not sure. If a girl is interested in a guy, he jumps at the chance to go out with her, why won't this guy? Am I doing something wrong or is there something wrong with me? Please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2019): I went through something like this growing up. I was the boy being hounded and was bullied because I wouldn't fall all over myself for some girl who acted interested in me. I never understood why it's OK for a girl to turn someone down when he asks her out in fact, she's considered empowered when she does it. Why doesn't that apply to the males? Men have as much right to say no as women.
His reasons for not dating you are irrelevant. What it comes down to is he doesn't want to go out with you so leave him alone. Stop the flirting or even talking to him, the notes, the asking him out, and don't call, text, or visit him. To put it simply, he's not interested in you so LEAVE HIM ALONE!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 January 2019):
 "If a girl is interested in a guy,he jumps at the chance to go out with her " ?... Who told you that ?, and how does this even make sense to you ?
I wish it were so easy ! Like when you go to a fish restaurant and you pick your fish or lobster from the tank: " That one, please " ..and the poor fish has obviously no choice but being served to your table.It's not enough for the girl to be interested - the BOY must be interested /attracted / intrigued too. This boy is not, and it may be personal ( he just does not like you ) or not personal ( he feels too young for dating, wants to focus on school, is too busy with hobbies and stuff, has got a big crush on another girl, or whatever )but the point is that , alas, he signaled very clearly already that he does not want to go out with you. Respect that and stop harassing him." No means no ", as we always say when women complain about unwanted sexual and romantic attentions and overbearing suitors, - why allowing double standards ??
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (19 January 2019):
 Isn’t it obvious to you? He doesn’t like you.
How would YOU feel if a guy you didn’t like was constantly trying to get your attention and passing you notes that you didn’t want to read? People were calling you a lesbian because you weren’t interested? Why are you assuming that because you’re female and making the first move that he should be more accepting? Girls get rejected too.
Leave the poor guy alone. Surely you understand that no means no?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2019): You’re interested in him, but he’s not interested in you. Obviously! Leave him alone. You’ve embarrassed yourself too many times already.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 January 2019):
 "....he either doesn't talk to me or tells me to leave him alone" - that is him refusing consent and you are ignoring it. If someone you didn't like was pestering you and beginning to stalk you, how would you feel?Delete his number and address. NEVER call or visit someone who doesn't want you to talk to them. If you continue, he will tell someone and you will get labelled as an obsessive stalker, possibly getting in trouble with your school!You like him, but he doesn't like you. It hurts, but it happens. Don't listen to anyone who condones this behaviour. Your actions are annoying/scaring him and it's not surprising. You are young, but you should still respect how he feels. Not all guys you like will like you back and your actions are leading to people accusing him of being gay. YOU ARE HURTING HIM.Leave him alone. NEVER pursue someone who doesn't want you to. Don't believe anyone that says crap like "If a girl is interested in a guy, he jumps at the chance to go out with her".
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 January 2019):
 Dear Original Poster, you have crossed over into the creepy stalker territory. At this point his rejection of your advances could be based on fear.
The reason was probably something else before, but after the notes, and the homosexual accusations, he is afraid.
Now if you send him a text or just show up at his home, he may go from running to active defence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2019): Yeah this boy isn’t interested i’m afraid and you are practically stalking him.
The reason he is getting angry is because you don’t get it -you simply won’t be told! He said no - and no means NO!
I have a 14 year old son and I would be furious to think that he was being hounded in this way. You are not only trying to force him to go out with you but you are making his school life a living hell in the meantime. What’s more, his friends are making his life hell by calling him ‘gay’ because of it. He is an innocent boy who just wants to be left alone. Leave him be.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 January 2019):
 Good grief, girl!
NO you don't call him or stop by his house!
HE has turned you down. ACCEPT it and LEAVE him alone!
He isn't INTERESTED in you. He has rebuffed you several times but you do not take NO for an answer, that is not right. NO, means no. Even if you are a girl!
YOU ARE doing something wrong. You are trying to FORCE a guy to go out with you when he doesn't WANT to.! STOP it!
He might NOT be all that interested in dating or girls, YET or he might not be ALLOWED to date girls so he stays uninterested. Doesn't make him GAY.
Leave him alone. If a GUY turns you down, you NEED to respect that. Same if a guy asked you out and you said no, thanks... he should RESPECT that too.
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