A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have heard that a crush would slow down and finally disappear, but I wonder how long it lasts. If a crush lasts for 2.5 years and you see the person on a daily basis, is it still a crush? I have read that crush is infatuation or lust so it can't be long? If it is that long would it be love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): I wanted to thank everyone for your help.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 September 2013):
Time is not the determining factor if it's love or a crush.
It's still a crush if you see them but don't have a relationship with them. And by relationship I mean that you two have mutual attraction and you have conversations and get togethers outside of the location where you happen to see them daily (work I assume)
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (8 September 2013):
Dear OP,
I guess it can still be a crush. As chigirl said, to love someone means you really know that person and still want to be around them. If you know about his flaws, his bad habits, his moments of crisis, how he acts when he's angry or sad, if you've seen his less beautiful side, if you've had fights and then sorted it out and you still want to get closer to him, then it's probably love. But if he's just a mere stranger to you, that is always polite and flirty and never shows you anything else, it's still a crush.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): 'To love' is a verb. Love is not just a feeling you experience from the comfort of your sofa. You love someone by looking out for them and doing things to make them happy, by being there for them and bringing out the best in them.
That's how parents, friends, lovers and children love.
Without actions, your feelings are simply attraction.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (8 September 2013):
"I have read that crush is infatuation or lust so it can't be long"
Infatuation and lust/ crushes can last for years, if you maintain the feeling and stimulate it.
Same with love. But in order to love someone (and not just the idea of them, which is the crush) then you need to know them. Love is the same as you feel towards your siblings and parents. Love towards another human is the same. But in a relationship you have both love and infatuation/lust.
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