A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi guys ive got abit of a confidence crisis.I think it started in primary when i was bullied alot for how i look because i was 11 stone, was wearing glasses and my hair was terrible and i have a lisp but i wanted that to change for high school so i went on a diet an lost a stone, i got contact lenses and dyed my hair, but still then i was finding it hard to find friends. Im in year 9 now and 14 years old i have lots of friends, lots of people like me and i have sort of made an name for myself, but the thing is i think my lack of confidence has followed me because i can't take a picture of myself without judging it, i hate dancing in public and im always really shy around the boys i like.so i was wondering if there was any tips anyone could give me to help boost my confidence, im up for anything honestly please help i feel like im always really left out from my really confident friends x x x
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 December 2009):
 I think you sound rather brilliant - you were able to do the sort of self improvement that most people just 'talk' about but never put into action. I agree with the previous post that drama or music hobbies may help you with confidence. I think you have to remember that most teenagers feel nervous around the opposite sex and feel anxious about fitting in. It is a phase of your life when you are developing at extraordinary pace emotionally and physically. When you get older you will relax and not care so much. I would say try to let go of the bullying in the past, and centre on the present-day. You were resilient enough to face all those problems back then and overcome them. That deserves a round of applause. Your 'really confident friends' are acting - they probably don't feel that way deep down.
A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (10 December 2009):
 The bullying from your primary school has probably given you a bit of a knock - which is quite sad because you seem like a really nice person who people would know and love.I think you should just surround yourself with good friends and get comfortable around them.The same happened with me. In primary school I was bullied a bit but I am now pretty confident with most things I do. One thing I'm working on is meeting new people and being myself with them - but we all need a bit of trust before we do that, right? =)No one can tell you how to be confident because everyone feels confident doing different things.It's just what you feel comfortable doing.You don't have to change who you are to be confident though. I think it's great you have so many friends, confidence can be good in some areas. But if you have good friends, that's all that really matters. Being happy is key. If you need confidence to be happy then that's a different matter entirely. However, being surrounded by good friends who care about you should do the trick.I'm not sure of your exact age (13-15), but I think you grow more confident with age. I'm 16 and still working on aspects of my confidence. However, like I said, happiness is key. Surrounding yourself with good friends and having a good time will probably give you all the confidence you need. Hope this helps =)Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): you should give drama a try, i suffered badly with confidence, then i started going to a drama club and became a whole different person when I was performing, i used the confidence i had on stage to help me in life, everyone has noticed a major difference in me over the last few years
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