A
female
age
41-50,
*itchelldee
writes:i have a partner of 2yrs,i love him very much.he goes overseas twice a year for business,and hes asked me to go with him on his next trip.hes always flying first class.and hes collecting all points that he gets from fying 1st class to get me a ticket(economy). that just makes me feel im less important to him.i wouldnt mind if we were both flying economy.i dont know how to tell him that id rather not go if hes flying first and im flying economy.please let me know if im making a big deal out of this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, older1sttimemom  +, writes (29 May 2009):
Ok seriously -I know there are some folks too that may brush this off, but I find it to be very offensive.
This guy is a complete tool -he should either trade his seat with his you or get a seat next to you. Yes, it is nice of him to give you the points to fly (but frequent flier points really aren't that hard to come by -it isn't a big deal in my book) -but he is treating you unfairly.
Go on the trip and see what happens -I wouldn't say a word -if he does not trade seats with you or find a way to be with you, I would definitely keep my eyes open with this guy -you may find that you have connected yourself with a very selfish man. You are so young -you have plenty of time to find Mr. Right if this one doesn't turn out to be the one. In the meantime, have fun on the trip -but remember, don't say a word about the seat. It will come across as very petty and he will most likely fly the coop. What you want to do is to see how he handles this with his own thinking -if he does nothing -then you need to proceed with caution.
He could just be clueless too...some people just are. lol!
Good luck -have fun...please let us know what happens.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Yes you are it was very nice of him to invite you! I'm sure if he got points for a first class seat he'dgive you it!
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A
male
reader, Ignorance +, writes (10 May 2009):
If it was me and I really, really care for my g/f and loved her I would choose to fly economy class as well so I sit next to her. If it was a g/f that I cared so and so I would think myself first and not give up the comfort of the first class. In the second case, if she would complain about it I would downgrade to economy also just so I won't hurt her feelings.
The point is, if he really cares for you, he would downgrade to economy without putting you in the difficult position to complain about it.
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 ...and if economy is absolutely packed, he could swap his first class seat with the person next to you in economy. Who would refuse that? He would still get the double points because the first class ticket is in his name but you two could sit together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): Ive read the other posts and he is saving up the points so you can go... I understand that being in a relationship with 7 kids.. so
you can offer to pay the difference-he is saving the points and he would probably like it if you offered. He might and probably would feel a little hurt if you said well I know you have been saving your points but its not good enough.
I understand both points of veiw and if i were him i wouldn't want to give up my first class either... but im also the type if my man said im flying first class and you in coach i would say
a-upgrade my ticket
b-go alone
c-seperate is not an option.
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed +, writes (10 May 2009):
Very interesting question! It looked simple at first but then I thought about it some more and it's a pretty interesting question.I would have to say that it depends on (a) the length on the flight and (b) the length of the holiday.If it's a long flight overseas and you're staying there for a short time then it makes sense that you both want to spend as much time with each other as possible. Spending 6 hours alone in economy isn't exactly romantic so he could either get himself an economy ticket or let his work still pay for the first class ticket and then join you at the back wherever there may be some free seats (just ask some people near empty seats to move).If it's a short flight or if it's short relative to the length of the trip, forget about it. Sit apart for that short 2 hours or whatever it may be. You're both working together to benefit from his employer paying for his first class ticket and indirectly paying for your economy class ticket through the points (Deriving the most benefit from the situation). Makes sense to me as the whole point is to spend the spend time together at your destination (rather than on your own back home), who cares how you get there and that you can't hold each others' hand for the short flight.All this should be tempered with two points. First, the fact that everyone has different economic means. In most cases, you'll want to work together as a team to get the most out of your trip but for some the money isn't that important. If upgrading you to first class is a negligible expense for him, then why not do it?Second, everyone's emotional reactions is different. Some will brush this off and focus on the results. Others, and this is only a small subset of my female friends, see this as offensive and a horrible precedent for the rest of the situation. The argument here being that he should (blindly and to the detriment of other facets of the relationship perhaps) make every effort to value and please you and that you shouldn't let him slip up. (Isn't nice having a set of friends you know for sure that you would never even phantom getting in a relationship with? haha). All this to say that your life philosophy comes into play too, whatever it may be.I hope you two have a great trip!Take care.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 He really said that? Taking a trip together, he is in 1st class, you in economy?
That takes balls.
Making to much out of it? Lets make it simpler. Say you two go out. He takes a cab, you can take the bus.
Make the two tickets business class (still very nice) or upgrade yours on his own costs. If he flies always 1st class he should be able to afford it.
If he makes you sit in economy alone, introduce the entire economy section to the mile high club.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): When i first read this i thought, cheeky man! but having thought about it, he is saving up these points so that you can be with him. Doesnt matter how you get there really, go on enjoy yourself :)
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