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I'd like to stay friends but I know that'd be unwise currently.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should you tell your ex you're going no contact, or should you just disappear?

My ex and I broke up after almost 1 yr. We talked daily for about a month afterwards. Then he invited me to see him for some talk and possibly sex. I turned him down. When I did that, he did a 180. He was livid with my decision and said I was confused and delusional for thinking he wanted fwb. He ignored me for 2 days. And since then our talks have been VERY short. I find his behavior odd since he's said repeatedly that we have a strong friendship and that he's usually a calm person. I'd like to stay friends but I know that'd be unwise currently. Should I tell him or should I just disappear? Does it make a difference?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 January 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think you OWE him and "I'm going NC" - just do it. BLOCK his number (there are plenty of free apps for that), delete his number so you won't be tempted to text/talk to him and move on.

He got all pissy at you, because you didn't want to have sex. He can claim that was NOT his intentions till the cows come home, but facts are... he is butthurt that YOU don't want to have sex with HIM.

Best way to get over him, is to NOT talk. He isn't a friend. HE is an ex. No need to KEEP him in your life if he isn't a positive influence.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hmm... I've lost some respect for him honestly. He spoke so much about our friendship. And then throws a temper tantrum cause I ddnt have sex with him and called my deluded for 'thinking he wanted fwb.' Then ignores my texts from then on. I know he's still angry but I wont apologize. All the talk he says about loving when people are honest to him. ...what a crock of crap. With my last ex I sent him a nice letter cause I still respected him evn though I knew we were done. This guy.... his passive aggression makes me angry.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (19 January 2015):

You can tell him if you have made up your mind and you have your reasons figured out. If he does throw crap your way then do not be surprised by this. But at least you've said what you wanted. DO what makes you the most comfortable.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2015):

Just write him a letter wishing him well and saying you would have liked to have stayed friends but you are struggling to move on so you need your space. Don't respond to any correspondence from him after that but you'd know that you'd stayed civil right to the very end.

You don't owe it to him but it's a nice gesture if you choose to.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I know. But should I tell him I'm going NC or should I just disappear without explanation?

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (18 January 2015):

Well...he's your ex and he wanted sex I guess he got upset that you rejected him. It's usually best to avoid communication after breaking and I am sure I do not need to say why.

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