A
female
age
30-35,
*oss04
writes:I went to a nightclub last night. I had a really awesome time with my girl friends. But all of a sudden our enjoyment got lessend due to guys coming and approching us.The guy who approched me took me to his circle of friends and it was three guys and one girl. I felt safe. This guy began dancing with me. But suddenly his other two male friends danced with me. Then the girl danced with me.Finally i noticed the guy who approached me made me type my mobile no on his mobile. He was standing along with others.His other male friend began dancing with me. I was really drunk but i still could see things happening around me. So this other male friend danced the whole night with me. Finally when the nightclub closed. The guy who first approached me never spoke to me neither said bye. But his male friend who danced whole night with me kept pleading me to come to his placeI flat out rejected him saying i have no interest in sex. I told him that he is really attractive and i would love to get to know him. He was smilimg. But he kept pleading me for so long. He wouldnot let me take a taxi to get home. He got into my taxi and yet kept pleading. I kept telling him i m not interested in sex. But i kept asking him repeatedly what do you want. but he wouldnot say a thing. But he kept saying thats fine but we can cuddle around, am superbly attracted to you. I told him yoi could wait. If you really have interest you can contact me. He dropped me home but didnot pay for taxi. Finally when i was heading my apartment. He yet kept pleading me to come to his place. He said i m very stubborn boy. I told him get another girl. He said i dont think am that good. Which i replied you have low self esteem. Then he again pleadedI told him if you respect me you'll go away.Finally he said just leave and took a cab
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drunk, not interested in sex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015): What do you mean wrongly? If you mean that dude wanted to have sex with you why are you SOOO surprised?? This is the main purpose for guys to go to clubs: get laid. It's a s old as clubs started functioning. If girls still hope to find someone to date in a club scene it usually doesn't happen.
Of course he was persistent, who wouldn't in a hope of sex? If you don't want them to follow you don't get drunk and don't flirt. Believe me guys can detect this very well. Even facial expression can tell them to bug off.
That's why I don't go to clubs anymore. It's always the same story: someone wants to get in your pants.
A
female
reader, Ross04 +, writes (19 January 2015):
Ross04 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks both of you :) really will keep things in the mind.. My friends didnot willfully leave me alone. They were dragged by other guys as well. I didnot know what to do. I was left alone too.
it really sucks !!! my friends sometimes just take advantage of a guy to buy them a drink. I told them so many times not to do it, but they dont listen.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 January 2015):
 What are going to say to a guy who's so persistent? Sing a song like dragonette's "I just came to say hello. I'm not the kind of girl to mess up with you, hello! Don't get too excited cause that's all you get from me...."
The strongest message of no, is to not invite him in your taxi. Say bye, don't follow me. Girls are taught to be nice so guys take advantage of a polite no. No need to say not interested in sex, no need to say you can date me if you want. Do you know why, because some girls do get weak and it's the one moment that changes everything. After 5 nos it might become a yes, secretly getting turned on by the pleading. You might think he's being a gentleman not wanting you alone in the taxi. You fell into his trap.
At least he tried. The old cliche, you'll never know if you don't try. Nothing ventured nothing gained. It's only natural he got turned on by you. You are having a good time while his mind magically thought that you were sending him signals and inviting him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2015): Why did your friends just leave you with a bunch of guys? In situations like that you need to approach the club security and let them know you are being pestered, they can make sure you get into a taxi outside WITHOUT any weirdo's following you.
Even when going out for a good time you have to have a plan for what to do if one of your friends disappears. Unfortunately you're always going to get complete weirdos and creeps in clubs, some of them will look for girls they think are drunk, it is a frightening reality. Stick with your girlfriends, look out for each other and if feeling at any time vulnerable find club security and point out the man/men who have made you feel like that.
There's no reason you can't go out and have a brilliant time but just keep in mind not all guys are out for an innocent dance and are looking for someone to pull. It possible sounds like the guy you danced with has used his mate to approach you and get you over before stepping in himself. You can't trust everyone you meet so try and stick with your original friends and be wary of those approaching you. No one makes you give them their number, you have to type it in. Learn to think quick and type on fake numbers - how do they know and they're not likely to see you again so be more confident in sticking in a fake number if you're not confident enough to just say no.
Please look after yourself going out, enjoy yourself and have a great time but be mindful and learn to be confident enough to say no or walk away from people. The more you talk to someone, even if you're saying no is that they think you're engaging with them and will try harder to change your mind. What that man did was harrass you, in the future walk away from people and don't even waste your time with a reply. Xx
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