| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Recently I have felt feelings for a guy which are more than friendship. I have known him for 13 years and would like to be more to him than a friend but how can I tell him? I don't want it to ruin our friendship if it doesnt work out. Please help Reply to this Question
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (8 July 2005):
You state you have been friends with this guy for 13 years.
I believe if he wanted to make a "romantic move" in your direction, he could have done it by now...he's had plenty of time, but he might feel like you...afraid of jeopardizing your friendship.
If you truly desire an acceleration from friends to lovers, then be gentle but direct & let him know.
"I love being friends with you, but sometimes I feel I'd like more...do you feel the same way, or would it ruin our friendship if we became lovers?"
Then the ball is in his court...if he wants to remain only friends, hopefully he will communicate honestly.
If he has also felt sometimes, that he wants more than friends...Bravo...you broke the ice !
Life is full of risks...sometimes we need to go out on a limb & take a chance.
I would suggest meeting him at your place or his place.
If you bare your heart in public & get rejected, then the situation is intensely embarassing & awkward & you are forced to get up & leave, in tears.
If you meet on comfortable territory, then either party can leave...or the scene moves to the bedroom !
After 13 years...explosive passion is acceptable !
I pray it works out for you honey,
If he says NO, give him time to re-cuperate.
Since you've been friends for many years, that implies you have a SOLID relationship, so it should be able to handle the occasional challenge.
All the best,
(hugs)
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 July 2005):
 Is this guy free to date you, with no other romances in his life right now? And you likewise?
If you're really friends, then you're not risking anything by asking him to meet you for coffee one afternoon. If you're really friends, you can tell him that you love him as a friend but admit that you've sometimes wished for more, too. If he's really your friend, the worst he can say is, "I'm sorry..."
Didn't someone once say "Awkwardness passes, but regret never does"? Go for it, just don't go over the top!
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