A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Last August I got with a guy for he first time, I went back to school and he went to college I didn't think much of it until I bumped into him a few weeks later at a party and he approached me and we chatted for a while, both of us were sober. Two weeks later we saw eachother out again and got with eachother and it was all going great until my jealous ex (one of his good friends) lost it at both of us which of course ruined things. During October on another night he approached me but I was with a different guy and so said I can't sorry. A month later we were both out again I was with nobody at the time and we got together and again my ex lost the plot and spoilt it all. A month after that (January) we randomly bumped into eachother again and have been texting and meeting up since. We went on a nice date one day and since then I have been so keen. I don't remember the last time I've liked somebody so much. He is sweet and doesn't push me. I get on great with his friends and I hear back things that he's told them about me. We have only had sex a handful of times its clear he's not using me in that terms. I told him a month ago that I really do like him but we both said we didn't want a relationship because we both had a lot going on. But last week he was drunk and poured his heart out to me. I was unaware he felt so strongly because although he is really kind to me normally he doesn't ever show how he feels. Now I can't forget what he told me but of course he doesn't remember a thing of it. He has never had a girlfriend before and I'm worried that he's holding back because he doesn't know what to do but it has been 6 months since we went on that date although I'm delighted with how things are, I wouldn't mind us getting a bit more serious. Should I tell him this or just roll with it and see what happens?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (1 July 2016):
 You need to tell the ex to back off, then ask this guy to be honest about his feelings because you like him. Right now, because of your developing feelings, hooking up isn't an option any more, so you need to find out if he wants to give it a go or if you should move on.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 June 2016):
 It could be possible that he is holding back because he is friends with your ex and he does not want to step on his toes. You need to be honest with him about how you feel and ask him to be honest with you, if he is not ready for a relationship, or he won't because he is loyal to his friend well then at least you will know where you stand with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2016): Clearly you have unresolved issues with your ex. What gives your ex the right to ruin your relationship? If i were you i would deal with my ex first, make it clear to him that he does not control or own me. You have your own mind no one has to decide who you have to be with. Then you can come back to your new guy. Don't rush things with him so long you are still seeing each other, wait for him to pour out his heart to you when he is in his right state of mind.
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