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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been off and on since we met about 3 years ago. This last go-around we have been exclusive for a year. At the time we first started going out, he had said he was unsure if he wanted to get married again or have another child (he has on child now with his current ex-wife who is austic, and therefore the alimony/child support payments are tremendous). However, he did say since (at least before we started going together this past year) that he could see having another child and getting married again. Whereas I don't want to get married or have a child right now, I do want to. I just started back to school to finish my bachelor's so my time frame for a child would be after graduation (or about 3 years from now). I am 33. I don't want to find out at 36 that my boyfried is dead set against this. I also don't want my questions and the possibility of my breaking off the relationship to elicit an empty promise from him, or make him feel like he is being cornered into something he does not want. Any suggestions on how to bring up this discussion? I should state my boyfriend is hyper-sensitive and was laid off from his job last Wednesday. Yes, when it rains it pours!
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reader, becky05 +, writes (3 July 2005):
Ask him straight if he could see himself having a family with you as you would like to have a family someday. Make it clear that you dont mean straight away, but in a few years. Leave talk of marriage for now as you have only been serious for a year.
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