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anonymous
writes: I'm an attractive, intelligent, friendly and independant woman, but men rarely approach me. I haven't been asked out in over a year! For some reason I'm just unapproachable. I tend to be on the shy side, so I'm thinking maybe that's being read as "stay away from me". My friends say that men are intimidated by me because I'm too "beautiful". I don't think I'm average looking but I certainly don't think I'm "beautiful". And even if I was "beautiful" wouldn't I need a stick to beat the men off?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): well, honey. i think i'm an expert on your question. becuase i used to suffer from similar problem. anyways. you may be beautiful, and still not be approached by men. that can be explained in many different ways. your dress may matter, your style, place that you go, your shyness. the way you carry yourself .. and stuff like that. cuz humans as a species, are like animals. males receive signals from males. you may be transmiting some sort of signal that you are completely unaware of. you may be saying don't approach me. I'm not handsome. but i still can sometimes start very good conversation with women. that's because i've invested thousands of bucks in learning female psycology.
which i regret. :)
anyways, hope i brought some lucidity to your trouble...
take care. Akan from Baku
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2005): by jnz Men are supposed to take all the risks, take the initiative, and be the first to make every move. This is very scary for most men as this is something that we are simply generally NOT taught. We are just thrown into the world, and when we grow up we are supposed to know how everything works. As more and more men nowadays also grow up with only their mom (and without a male role model), they become "wusses" (aka girls, nothing wrong with girls, except women are attracted to men, not girls), afraid to even keep eye contact with beautiful woman. And the feeling of not knowing what to do is enough to scare most men away from approaching, from risking their ego by showing that they are interested. As if we get rejected, we feel as if we as a person get rejected, it hurts our ego. So wtf am I on about this for, this isnt helping you. I just want you to know that this is not on you, this is a problem those "weak" men have. Or shall I say those boys (or "girls").Either you "hang in there", looking your best always, hoping that a real confident man approaches you and sparks your attraction - or you take charge of your own life, before its over. Yep, you are going to die some day. Trust me on that one. If you see a man that you are interested in, and he is admiring you from afar, then go for it! Hes not scared of talking to you, only scared of taking the first move, so do it for him. If you got balls say "Hi, youre cute/handsome, Id like to get to know you." Thats called a direct approach (when we men do it to a woman). Or if youre more of a wuss yourself, like those men, then you use an indirect opener, like, say "Hi" and ask him what he thinks of your dress or if youve spilled something on it, as you noticed he was looking at you.Btw, make sure that you are smiling and look friendly :Checkout this article on how a woman can and should use her body language to signal that she is "approachable", perhaps you are doing something fundamentally wrong, without knowing it?!http://www.singlecentral.com/Intimacy&Relationship.htmIf you want some more advice send me an email as I just stumbled across this site by accident.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): I agree with Bertha. Get out there and approach them. Talk and let them see you are friendly and a genuinly, nice person. Beauty & independence in a women scares the "insecure" guys off. And there are a lot of them out there! This is a common problem for very attractive women. I had the same problem for years. I too, am quiet and a bit shy. I found that men would not approach but they certainly would admire from afar. I started to think something was wrong with me,too. So many men are very insecure about beautiful women, thinking they could never please a beautiful woman and many fear rejection. It's a typical guy hang-up. Yet, they do desire you. Find yourself a confident, strong man-someone who takes you for who you are inside and out. When a man is confident in himself he would never fear an independent, beautiful woman. I have been with a wonderful, secure man for many years-he is the most romantic man..and we love each other deeply. It will happen for you...and you will know the right guy when he comes into your life. He'll be strong, he'll be self-assured and he'll treat you wonderfully. Hang in there, it will change.
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reader, bertha +, writes (28 June 2005):
I used to have the same problem, but I overcame it by talking to the men first thats how I met my boyfriend and we've been going out 2 years now.
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