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I'd like to do oral sex but my g/f has bad smell

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 December 2008) 20 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i've been with my partner a while now, we are very close and have a great relationship.

however i have been wanting to perform oral sex on her for a long time but have always been put off from the smell. i understand it's natural and i would probably have to just get used to it but do i either tell her about it or just try to get used to it?

during sex i sometimes inch my way down her kissing her body but as soon as i get really close it's quite off putting and i don't wanna seem like i am trying to go for it but something puts me off.

she is a very self-conscious girl (has many issues about her body and weight) so i feel it would hurt her if i told her she smells bad and i don't want to make her shower every time i want to do down on her.

any suggestions as to how i could explain it without being offensive or anything i could do avoid the odor?

View related questions: kissing, oral sex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok, thanks for all the help, there's some good advice i will take on board.

can mods delete this thread please?

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A male reader, factor_of_safety Turkey +, writes (27 December 2008):

factor_of_safety agony auntit is not usual all time. If there are some unusual bacterias on vagina, the smell becomes bed. but it is not bad as in usual:)

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (26 December 2008):

DoubleM agony auntThe previous, anonymous female reader offers superb advice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

Pineapples. Fruit in general are awesome for "flavoring" the juices. Specially sweet tasting fruits. Studies show that fruit and veggies (just stay away from asparagus) gives a milder sweeter flavor. Red meat, coffee and cigarettes a more bitter flavor.

If you are together in the morning fix her a nice bowl of fruit to go with whatever else she eats, but evening she most likely taste sweeter.( eat a bowl yourself too):)

This works for men too.

Another thing you can do is buy some flavored lube and before you go down on her give her a nice massage on her genitals.

Mints. Have a mint in your mouth and honestly that is all you will taste.

Go down on her in the shower.

If she is up for something a little kinky.. get a Popsicle and rub it all over her privates then lick it up and give her a good head.(some even slip it inside but that really depends on how adventurous you two are.) Also works nicely running the Popsicle ( get those on a stick) as a trail down her body and follow behind with your mouth.

Get some edibles like chocolate sauce - syrup ( just don't put it inside her)and lick it off.

Edible panties.By the time you are thru with the panties that is all you can taste..

Shave her ( if she lets you) a clean shaved holds on to far less odors.

Hope any of this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

excellent advice from lots of you, i thank you all :)

i feel much more confident in approaching the problem no, the only downside to us showering before sex more often is we both live in shared apartments where she is with 2 other people with a bathroom downstairs and I'm with a guy who comes and goes all the time so we usually try to keep sex private and away from common shared rooms.

i didn't realise that diet could affect the smell of a vagina, maybe i could prepare her the night before or something with lots of bland food, lol.

she is away for Christmas so I'll have to wait til she gets back to let you know how it goes, merry Christmas all!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008):

Brilliant advice has been given by everyone.. Douches are not recommended because they destroy the woman's natual ph balance which helps to fight against infection.

If she has no infection and has already been tested, then it's a case of diet, what she is eating and drinking needs to be changed so her smell will be different. Ask her to drinks lots of water, good for the health and also the skin. She needs to eat a proper diet full of fruits and vegetables and cut down refined foods, fatty foods, and strong tasting foods like garlic..

A hard job, I agree, telling someone to change their diet. We women suffer the same thing when we give oral sex, trying to tell your partner that 8 pints of larger makes his sperm to strong is a hard job for anyone to do.

PS: It is best if you and her shower before doing anything sexual. It highlights that this is your special sex time, it makes everything clean and able to lick without resrvation. I don't see the problem with introducing showers as part of your natural sex play. Join her in the shower and wash her and yourself off, start the play in the bathroom and then take it into the bedroom.. Oral sex in the shower might be more suitable for you and make the taste and the smell a little more easier to bear.

Your a nice guy for wanting to give your girlfriend pleasure and asking for advice when you find it not working for you... She is very lucky to have you.

Communication, communication, communication.. It's hard, but you can tell her, that you love her body, you love kissing her, but her taste is so strong that you would love if she could change her diet to weaken it. Difficult, but possible, just be kind, non judgemental, diplomatic and thoughtfull and try to get her to change her diet, without her feeling rejected and hurt..

PS: I've just learnt something, I thought all women went to the toliet and allways had a quick wash or shower before sex?? mmm... Interesting

If you manage to do this, please come back and tell us how it's done. These kinds of things are embarrasing for everyone.

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A male reader, a_decent_1 India +, writes (25 December 2008):

a_decent_1 agony auntDON'T DOUCHE .. !!

It would just make the situation complicated.. !! Vagina is best washed with Mild water.. !!

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (25 December 2008):

DoubleM agony auntOne more comment about this from DoubleM: A douche is not a good thing as "MommyOfOne" noted. It upsets the natural balance of a woman's vagina by removing some of the beneficial bacteria, and thereby creates other problems. Some folks thought that douches were a good idea 30 or 40 years ago, but it turned out to be mainly a money-making scheme by Massingill and other manufacturers, and caused many women to develop various infection and other problems.

As I previously mentioned, only a few women I've ever known were especially distasteful, but as long as they had freshened-up a bit, any significant amount of unpleasant aroma goes away after a few licks. It is something that I cannot physiologically explain, but it almost always has worked okay for me. It was usually like an initial musty whiff, then you just get past it and you both have a really good time.

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A female reader, NUTS  United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

Well I'am female, but I have never had any complaints, but I do try to shower first when possible, But I hear a lot of men comment "smells like fish, But taste like chicken,"not to me personally, but to each other.So if she dosen't want the shower first you may just have to go for it, who know you may develope a taste for it.

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A female reader, bella12 United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

well one of my suggestions

is when your about to........ randomly grave her and put her in the bathroom... show her how kinky it is having sex in the shower, then afterwards your out and it might not be so stanky down there and you dont even have to say a word.

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A female reader, MommyOfOne United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

MommyOfOne agony auntDon't ask her to douche!

I have never had a "smell" issue, but douching (?) can actually make it worse. Yes, it would fix the problems for a short time, but in the end, it could make the problem worse. Douche's can cause infections. And if she already has an infection (thats what I think, personally), it will make the already existing infection worse.

Some infections have to be tested for individually. Certain ones are not automatically tested in a normal, routine pap smear. She would have to go to her dr, and discuss this issue. But, in order for that to happen, you would have to bring it to her attention...

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A female reader, hate_my_life United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2008):

hate_my_life agony auntwell.. if i were in your situation i would buy them some perfume or some sort of nice smelling deodrant for her to use.. you could joke around with her and say something like 'so you used your pressie yet?' you can buy it for her for christmas, im sure she wouldn't take it the wrong way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

Showering before sex is good but if she has a scent you arent happy with ask her to try a douche it might help .I know if someone was to tell me i had so much as a scent i would be having a fit so be calm but there is ways you can go about it .Yeah showering together before sex is also a form of foreplay but if that doesnt do it let her know that you are still turned off by the scent and see if you can get her to try a douche ....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

my advice is when you an your gf have sex and you want to go down on her try taking it to the bathroom.. take a shower with her.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (24 December 2008):

DoubleM agony auntSometimes it does not take long for a woman's vagina to gain a fairly strong stench. She may have bathed before a date, for instance, but after just a couple of hours sitting through a movie, or particularly dancing and drinking, she will probably not be so fresh down there. Most women do have an aroma, which I think is somewhat unique to each and influenced largely by dietary intake (as well as genetics). And yes, I have known two or three out of many over the years that simply had a disagreeable stink down there, even after bathing. But usually, just a freshen-up rinse, or wipe with a wet washcloth renders most vulvas quite pleasant. I've never experienced a lady who objected to freshening up a bit first, knowing full well that they were in for a treat afterwards.

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A male reader, a_decent_1 India +, writes (24 December 2008):

a_decent_1 agony auntWell,

Some of then have very strong Odour and can be a REAL Turn Off.. !! Smell can be because of Sweat also as the area around vagina is prone to a lot of sweat.. !!

All women take a Shower before sex.. Don't they..? I mean especially before Oral sex.. So, what's the issue..? I mean i can understand there are situations when you Cannot take a shower, but otherwise whats the harm..? Ask her to change her undies regularly and not pee before sex..

G'day

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i guess you are right, thank you i appreciate your response :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

Well, I guess it all depends on what you call 'bad'. As I said earlier, the intimate female aroma is, for most of us, a huge turn-on although I have to say, in my experience, some women have hardly any aroma at all. I guess your lady is 'gifted' with a strong scent which obviously does not agree with you. If showering works, then only go down on her on those occasions - abstaining for the rest. If it doesn't work then either your lady will suffer or you will have to.

Sorry, no easy answer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sorry i forgot to mention she is ok in that she has no infections or anything as she has been checked out recently, i think it's just her natural 'aroma' as you put it.

sometimes it's nice to just have sex without having to shower before all the time, but wouldn't like to go down on her as well instead of having to wait until she has showered, but what if it still smells bad after showering?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008):

It sounds like she has a personal hygiene problem or some mild infection. It's true, vaginas can and do have an aroma - not a 'smell' as such - which is very pleasant and a turn-on. Anyway, what's wrong with showering before sex? Treat it as foreplay - a lot of sexual fun can be had while showering together. If washing doesn't cure it then you're going to have to risk all by telling her subtly she should consider getting checked-out by her g.p. because her 'aroma' seems much sronger lately.

Good luck.

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