A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hey everyone, thanks to everyone who helps me out on this. Im sorry it may be long, im gunna try make it quick and have all the vital details in aswell.Ok i am having a super hard time trying to analyse this guys intentions.I met a guy on facebook (he lives in the same city and goes to the same University as me) he was the first to speak to me and yes he started off as a cocky, big headed guy. I was thrown off by his attitude. he would say things like 'so when am i taking you out for a drink?' 'Whats a pretty girl like you talking to me?' etc etc. He would tell me stories of lecture teachers at our uni sending hm photographs of themselves to him *explicit ones*.He also told me that he had a reputation and that i shouldnt ask my mates about him coz they apparently 'knew'. so obv i do ask and the answer i got from them, is that they dont know what hes like as they dont really speak or hang out with him. So he obv made this reputation thing up?Anyways, we carried on talking for up to 2 weeks via facebook. then he asked for my number. we texted for up to 2 months, while he was away at home. Gradually the big headed guy, was replaced with a lad who actually had things to say. we spoke about his uni course, his life at home, his friends, etc and we found out we had quite a bit in common and i found out hes actually quite shy.He came back to uni after summer and we met for first time. He hung with my mates and was very very nice to them and chatted with me too. My mates totally approved.We carried on speaking every day, he alwys initiated conversation, i barely ever texted him first, but one conversation he ended it with 'love u'.We met a few times after again and they were nice. One night i went over to his flat for a few drinks, i had an idea what could possibly happen, thinking we would end up having sex. We did get intimate, but he refused to have sex with me without a condom and we didnt have any, but we still fooled around. This made me feel good as it seemed he respected me. He also told me about his ex gf, and that he had cheated on her 2 times and also said that he likes having a gf. The next morning was a bit strange though. We woke up and he told me he had a job interview in less than half an hour, so i had to leave quick. I felt funny and a bit rejected as he had kicked me out so quickly and i wasnt sure if he REALLY had a interview. But surprise surprise, he texts me literally 20 minutes after i left to say he arrived in time for his interview. How nice of him.Ok, so background info done, now heres where the problem starts. My mates had a house party about 3 weeks ago. I coulnt go becuase of work, but he went. The next day i had a mate text me telling me she saw him making out with another girl. I was upset but i thought about it and thought 'well we are not dating so hes allowed to' but after a few days it really got to me, so i text him saying my friend told me what happened and i didnt feel right hanging with him anymore, as i obviosuly liked him. He responded saying that he didnt feel as though he did anything wrong, and he didnt really seemed fussed that i didnt want to talk to him anymore. so i deleted him off facebook (yeah yeah i hear you say) but i noticed few days later he blocked me, I couldnt find him in the search to talk to him at all. I left it for about a week, then i asked my mate to send him a message to unblock me. He did pretty much straight away, then i sent him a message saying i was sorry for saying what i said and that he had a right to do as he wanted as we were not dating. He accepted it but also apologized himself saying he does things like that and he shouldnt. Next thing, i went to two house parties in 1 week and we attended both of them. The first party, he ignored me pretty much completely, he said hello but that was it. I was very very upset and drank to much to comprehend haha. the second party i vowed to hav a good time and not get upset if he ignored me. Again he said hello and added a how are you. other than that, not much. That night he got speaking to a girl, but i kept it casual and spoke to his friends and he would join in the convo sometimes too. I went away most of the night talking to other people and met some nice guys and got some numbers. i noticed he kept on loking my way now and again but other than that refusing to look straight at me even when he knew i was staring at him to get him to look at me.So after few days i message him asking why does he ignore me if we made friends again? he responded with saying he did it with everyone. I wasnt convinced.But now hes asking to meet with me again and offered to help me with my coursework as i need a model for my project, so he is seeing me on monday.So what does this all mean? Is he interested or am i just wasting my time? Why does he ignore me in public but willing to help me with my work and meet up just us?Thanks sorry it was long
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 You are wasting your time totally here. I know this is not what you want to hear, but he is wanting to live the uni life, go out meet different girls and hook up with them, he is enjoying not having any responsibilities and am sure he doesn't think he is doing any thing wrong because he did not commit himself to you, you have feelings for him so you will end up getting hurt because this guy is a bit of a player and thinks he has a reputation to keep up with so he keeps going after different girls. He ignores you in public because he doesn't want a scene to happen plus my guess is that he wants to show you that he doesn't care. Move on and forget about him before he can hurt you any more.
A
female
reader, Nizbit  +, writes (2 November 2011):
I'm pretty sure he's just using you. I had almost the exact thing happen with me, I met a guy and we texted and got to know each other, he always started convorsation, and it was really nice, he didn't expect anything but to be with me and enjoy our times together. He told me he loved me and did the same thing your guy did. He was the same ago too, big head, but secretly shy. Hate to tell you but the shyness is just an act. He used you to get in your pants, he thought that if he stopped and made it seem like he didn't want it then you would like him better and there will be more times. The guy I liked did the same thing, now all he ever wants to talk about is sex, so I decided its not worth it. I gave him up and it was the best thing I ever did. A guy who is willing to do any of the stuff your guy did to you, should not be worth your time. Sorry to be the one to tell you. I think you should move on from him and find a nice guy who really cares about you. :)
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