A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm 35 yrs old and I am intersted in an 18 yr old. We've talked a few times and I enjoy talking with her. I'd like to ask her out but the age differnce is making me think about it. How should I handle this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hi,
Just had to come back and add that i think you gave a great answer "anon_e_mouse"!!
I think sometimes honest opinions is what people need to hear its then up to them to make their choice on the matter. Great answer again!!
Lu x
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (7 February 2008):
 I agree with angelblueeyes when she says she "can never understand what is wrong with being with someone that is older/younger than you. At the end of the day age is just a number..."
However, I think the ages you are DO matter. So there's 17 years difference between you, which if you were 42 and she was 25 I wouldn't really see as being a problem (although 17 years is too big a difference for me but then that's me - her in the UK you'd be old enough to be her Dad).
My Mum is with a guy who's 11 years older than her and they've been together for about 10 years now. My sister is married to a guy who is 12 years older than her. My sister was 23 when she met him though... Between 18 and 20 she went through loads of boyfriends (and all of them idiots I might add).
The fact this girl is only 18 would put me off. She has a lot to learn and do before she knows what she really wants. But then again, I don't know her - she might be more mature than other girls her age. I suppose you need to ask yourself/her is she really ready to settle down? Or is she going to want to go out and just have fun? Does she want to buy a house? Get a serious job? Settle down? Or are there things she wants to do? Uni? College? Travelling?
As well as all the other things necessary for a relationship to work you need to be compatible too and I think it's very rare for an 18-year-old and a 35-year-old to be compatible. Here in the UK you're old enough to be her Dad.
I've just turned 29 and my last girlfriend was 18 and I have to say whilst at times our relationship was amazing, it become worse and worse and worse before becoming a nightmare.
Although, I am still a boy at heart and still enjoy going out clubbing and dancing etc. there were a lot of insecurities on her part and she was very naive about things. This might just be her or it could well be a more common issue with girls of that age.
She didn't understand I HAD to work to keep a roof over my head... She'd want me to take days off and pull sick days all the time. Also, I had to have time to do things like my laundry, washing up, cooking my dinner and even sorting out my bills. She didn't have to do any of that since she still lived at home and was getting pocket money. She couldn't be bothered to work and spent her time when I was at work lazing around bored.
Of course, I'm not saying this is the case with all 18 year olds but if I were you and I really wanted to give it a go I'd take things slow and see how you get on... Do you both want the same things in life? Is she planning on going to Uni or anything? Does she want to travel? These are just some of the things you should really think about before you get too involved.
If it is what you want and you really think it could work then go for it... But like I say, if I were you I'd take things slow.
Best of luck.
p.s. I know people are probably not going to like my post (and my ratings will suffer) but I'm not one for giving popular answers. I prefer to give my honest opinion.
Have you considered this might just be lust?
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/love_or_lust.htm
... And on the subject of compatibility:
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/relationship_compatibility.htm
p.p.s. I am not affiliated in any way with the above site. Thought you might find those 2 articles useful :)
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A
female
reader, angelblueeyes +, writes (7 February 2008):
Hi,
I once went out with a guy alot older than myself it didn't bother either of us my parents and friends were very supportive which helped out, Alot of the time people find it hard because their family/friends are not supportive because for some reason or other they believe it is wrong,
I can never understand what is wrong with being with someone that is older/younger than you. At the end of the day age is just a number & if thats what you want go for it & ask her out see how things go from there!!
Good luck with it all
Lu x
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