A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey. Ok I might as well tell you a little bit about myself and my situation first. Well, I'm 13 years old first of all however i'll be turning 14 in march of 2009. I don't need you to tell me i'm to young to know what love is. Because thats obviously not true... Well anyways I have a boyfriend that I have been going out wit for almost 5 months now. He's very different from all other guys. He just turned 15 by the way. We have so much in common because we practically have the same things going on in our lives. I've met his mom and his dad has heard about me. All of my friends know about him and so does some of my family. I live with my dad and sometimes since he doesnt know about my boyfriend its kind of hard for us to see each other. But, its come to the point where I would really like for my dad to meet him so this would be easier. I've never talked about boyfriends with my dad though. I kind of think that he knows i have a boyfriend but he gives me space because he does realize im growing up. I was just wondering what might be the best way to bring this up to him and to actually have him meet my boyfriend. Thanks for your helpp . (: Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Congratulations! You must be so excited!
I'm happy to hear that you're with someone that you really like. This must be quite the emotional roller coaster for you; it certainly can be. Introducing boyfriends and girlfriends to your family can be quite daunting, especially the very first time.
The first girl I introduced to my family had a very intimidating father (I still remember him!). We worked together on a school project and got very close. I spoke of her to my parents as a good friend (much like MuffinGirl's suggestion) as I would talk of my friends. It was also obvious that we were spending a lot of time together and so there was plenty for my parents to suspect.
Adults think a lot more about this and are a lot more attuned to relationships than I would have ever suspected when I was a teen. I'm sure they picked up on it long before I consciously "dropped hints" so my efforts to "slip it in" slowly and smoothly seem a little silly in retrospect but I wouldn't have done it any other way. I imagine your father is simply waiting for you to broach the subject. I understand that it can be nerve-wrecking but he is looking forward to hearing that inevitable line from his daughter. His simply in the dark until then. Tell him about your "friends".
Next, came the meet-the-parents moments. I wasn't a fan of this whole idea and it really didn't sound like a very comfortable experience at all. I went about it different. At the end of the school project, I suggested to my mom that we invite my friend's parents over for dinner.
It was very relaxed; just like any other dinner party. It was kind of like my parents vs. hers :). Neither of us felt intimidated or nervous about meeting each others parents because our parents were taking care of the hard part. They were steering the conversation and were much more comfortable talking about us than I would ever have been in her father's interrogation chair! Plus it got all of that meet-the-parents stuff out of the way in one swoop.
So that's how I went about it in my particular situation. Perhaps her father's strong personality influenced my strategy. Oh my... I still remember how crazy that girl drove me...
Succintly put:
- Speak of your boyfriends as a friend with the parents
- Act as friends in front of the parents in the very beginning (no kissing, hugging or hand holding in front of them)
- Introduce your boyfriend as a friend:
a) Invite him over
b) Invite his parents over
c) Have him drop by on your way out to go somewhere (so there's a time limit of the conversation with your dad; they will meet again... keep the first one brief)
d) Introduce him along with a group of your friends when they come over
Let us know how it goes and please write back if you're nervous or still have some things you'd like to chat about. It's very exciting!
Have fun!
A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Don't worry about age. I remember when I was 13 and madly in love with someone who unfortunately didn't like me back. You have luck, because it seems that your boyfriend likes you or maybe even loves you.
Another example is, my good friend (she's 18 now) is with her boyfriend since she was your age. So really.. don't worry about age. But if you tend to sleep with him, use protection.
Your situation with your dad is soluble. Slowly explain him that you have boyfriend. For example, talk with your boyfriend on phone and make sure your dad would hear your conversation(but talk like he's only your good friend) and when you finish, you can say your dad: oh you know I've met one really great guy and now we're becoming close. It seems that he really likes me and I like him.
And then you'll see his reaction, he's not going to be angry with you after, so don't worry about that.
After a week or two, take your boyfriend home to meet your dad. Tell your boyfriend he should be polite and kind with him, and don't act too "sexually" (i hope you know what i mean) with your boyfriend in front of your dad. I think everything's going to be all right, don't worry.
best of luck. X
...............................
|
